Thursday, December 31, 2009

Fatpickle: The Best Of 2009

2009 is almost in the books...are any Redskin's fans going to miss it? I flew up to VA to see my first game at FedEx field since 1998. I was able to see the Skins get blown out by Philly and Chris break his ankle...that sorta sums up 2009 for me.

There was, however, plenty of awesome and fun times here at The Cooley Zone. This website remains the coolest and most innovative athlete website on the net. No other site allows you the access that The Cooley Zone offers. Whether it be inside looks at vacations, practices or operations...Chris and Tanner deliver. And while some may take advantage of the forum to rant about play-calling, work ethic and other douche-bag thoughts...I think the majority of us know just how special this site truly is.

So I invite you to take a look back at the best of 2009 and look forward to what lies ahead in 2010. And if you missed 2008, you can even catch up with that right here.

February 23, 2009 Man O War

I love this post for several reasons. The picture of Chris and Ovie with the guy who looks like Principal Belding is priceless. Chris also references Kenny Powers a couple times and well, Kenny Powers is funny as...

March 26, 2009 Staying Dry

Nowhere in Chris's contract does it say anything about getting wet for practice...I mean what are talking about...practice? It's raining outside and Chris needs to stay dry, so he turns to Redskin's blogger Matt Terl, who proves he's multi talented.

March 23, 2009 Dear Dennis

One thing the Cooley brothers are truly awesome at...pissing off entire cities, states and regions. Pittsburgh, Philly, Dallas, Boston and in this case Cleveland. Chris shares some his "fan" mail that he received after he posted his thoughts on the Cleveland/Denver trade rumors. The great thing about Chris and Tanner taking on these angry individuals is that it brings out the best in their blogging abilities. Case in point, Chris's letter to Dennis...and Tanner's recap of his Randy Moss encounter.

March 16, 2009 My New Boat

Bass Pro Shops Hat...$ rod, reel & lures...$ Bass Tracker boat...$18,000...watching Chris try and operate said got it...priceless! I just watched this again and laughed, 2 months later Chris posted a picture of his first catch, a 2" bluegill. BTW, I'm not sure how much Chris paid for the boat or the equipment...but I do know that was an expensive bluegill! And no, that boat is not made to bump into rocks.

April 29, 2009 The Chainsaw Massacre

Do you know when you've reached the pinnacle of blogging glory? I'll tell you...when you are able to incorporate ticks on your sack and "sizable load of wood" in the same post. Besides those 2 gems, this is the story of how a tree kicked a man's that's entertainment!

May 5, 2009 Chainsaw Massacre Part II

It's merely a flesh wound. Too bad Colt tore his labrum filming this...the season may have turned out different. Haha

June 20, 2009 Wyoming Drive Day 2

Big Ben, Parliament. Chris is multi-talented...he can eat, drive, film, sing and narrate at the same time. The Ho Chunk doesn't allow dogs? The place is named after a fat hooker. Day 1. Day 3.

July 10, 2009 The Pottery Experience Part I

Out 1st introduction to Chris's new obsession...and I have 2 things to say about this. #1 At the 1:45 mark of the video Chris has made the most awesome double D clay boob of all-time. Go the video and tell me I'm wrong. #2 If Chris would make a clay double D boob, sign it and sell it on Ebay...a lot of money would be generated for charity. Yes, I notice and think of things like this...this is what you get when you let some guy named Fatpickle guest blog on your site. At the very least one of those punched in clay debacles should be signed and sold on Ebay...that's $$ major bucks as well. Just sayin'.

August 24, 2009 A Bee Movie

It's not the best of anything...until you get Yoder, Motley Crue and Skid Row T's involved.

May 7, 2009 Chris's Acting Debut

Chris...line 1, it's officer Poncherello calling...he wants his uniform back. On a serious note, Ghosts Don't Exist is going to be bad-ass, you can see the trailer here.

December 3, 2009 A Special Invite

Anyone else notice that since this invite was posted, Chris has been awfully quiet and Tiger hasn't been seen in public? Are they playing the back 9 at Raspberry Falls?

See ya next year!

Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Autograph Signing

Chris will be signing autographs at Psgamegear in the Dulles mall tonight from 6:30-8:30. If you are doing your last minute shopping, head over and say hello.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

TC: Heisman Snub

Toby Gerhart should have been the Heisman trophy winner. How can a guy that rushes for 100 yards in 10 games and score multiple touchdowns in nine of those games not get the trophy? Maybe its the same reason we will be seeing Boise State play TCU.

The only reasons I could come up with were that one, Ingram had an unreal game against Florida who most considered the best team in the country. Two, he plays in the SEC. And finally, and this is just me, he better fits the traditional mold of a running back.

Now I know that a valid excuse will come up when comparing this year's SEC to this year's Pac 10. But who gives a shit? Gerhart had two of his best games against top 10 ranked opponents. He lead a team that, without him, would be playing in the Holiday bowl at best. And he won the Doak Walker award, which by definition, is given to the best running back of the year. So how does he not take home a Heisman trophy?

The award should go to the best player in college football. Not the best player that plays on the best team. This Heisman race this year was a joke which is unfortunate for the fans. All we want to see is the best guy go home with the trophy. This individual award was clearly given to Mark Ingram based on other criteria. I am beginning to think that the Heisman race and the BCS are one of the same, money makers.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Shop 47 Sale

Sunday, December 13, 2009


I was proud to watch another outstanding team performance this week in Oakland. For us to continue to play the way we have is inspiring. Right now the Redskins on the field have truly assembled a team of guys that believe that they can win and believe in what were doing. It's a hopeful vision of our future watching so many young players rally together and play under this coaching staff, especially after the gut wrenching defeats of the last couple weeks.Everyone in DC should be congratulating our quarterback for another tough outing. In the classic words of Joe Gibbs "That guys gotta set." Beyond playing ballsy again this week Jason has continued to show his courage behind center. There is so much respect for 17 in the huddle and the locker room for is ability to not only drive our offense, but to relentlessly get off the ground. It's awesome how many times he saves drives for us in third down situations by moving in the pocket or running. I'm also blown away by his uncanny ability to slide before taking a hit - he shows his amazing athleticism every time! In my opinion this guy is the quarterback of our future.

Not one problem whatsoever with a dynamic combination of tight ends. Shake and bake baby! A great offense will put it's best 11 players on the field and I think there is no question Fred and I will make up two parts of that next season. God I wish I was out there with him right now.Brian Orakpo is unquestionably the defensive rookie of the year. Impressive for a rookie to continue to get stronger as his first season goes on. Orakpo was relentless in his pursuit of the ball carrier, he plays defense with at wild malice and I love it. It seems to me there a point in everyone's rookie season when you see when their body asks what the hell is going on and he has undoubtedly fought through that stage and started to become a huge threat as a pass rusher. On another note. I gotta pull the guy aside and tell him to stop saying "you know" so many times in his interviews. He is way to smart of a guy for such a simple interview blunder. I hate "you know" so much! Stop it! Well, I guess I've had a serious "like" problem I've been trying to shake so I can't complain too much.

Great work by Quinton Ganther. Kid is running his ass off and he is running hard. The way he has begun to fall forward and gain extra yards is impressive, it's also very demoralizing for a defense to think they have a stop and see a runner getting three, four, or five extra yards. This man is truly making the most of an opportunity and seems to get better every week. Ganther also has to give big ups to the line and my man Yoder. Like I said earlier, the old man would lay some wood this week and he didn't disappoint.Can someone tell Jamarcus Russell to try and shut his mouth every once in a while. The dude never ever closes his lips and he looks like such a moron. At least I had something to laugh about in the second half.

I'm just so happy for all the guys flying back today who can finally celebrate a road win. Everyone on that plane deserves the win. The way the guys are working to finish strong this season is impressive and I'm sure there will be n0 let down through the next three weeks. HTTR.

Photos from Extremeskins

Cooley and Cooley on Comcast

Last week before the Saints game thanks to Eric Shuster, I got a chance to interview Chris before the game. Since it hasn't been posted, I thought I would share it with you. And feel free to use the comment section of this post to express your thoughts on todays game. We're all hoping for a win against the Raiders.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Todd Freakin' Yoder

Don't expect to see any kind of let down in Oakland this week at fullback. Mike Sellers was taken to the hospital after last weeks game following a brutal hit in the leg. Sellers, still recovering will have to miss this weeks game. That leaves no one but my roommate Todd Yoder to knock some silver and black dicks in the dirt.

Todd and I spoke briefly today about the game and concluded that he will not play a "shit-ton," but there seems to be close to the same amount of Regular personnel in the game as before. We may also run more of a two tight end set on Sunday. Knowing first hand the versatility of Yoder I would be substandard in my opinion to see him play less than half the offensive game.

Taking a look closer at what Todd Yoder can do for a team is more impressive than Megan Fox's ass, well, maybe more like the computer girl from the first transformer's ass, but still pretty damn good. Yodes is every quality a football team and fan base could hope for. He is tough as nails, doesn't matter what's wrong, he's always on the field.

Yoder takes the same hit Lawerence Taylor put on Theisman while simultanously chewing up a beer bottle and he still has the wherewithal to piss on my broken ankle. Todd is one of the smartest guys I know, a Vanderbilt chemistry major who reads the playbook like Johnny 5. I've actually woke up on game day listening to Yoder give advice to my little brother on his MCAT exam. Crazy smart that guy. Well, a lot of players may be smart and tough, but Todd is the final Joe Gibbs ingredient - physical! Don't be surprised when you see Yodes running through people on Sunday. The first thing he did when he moved to my house was build and eight foot brick wall, also compiling a shed full of extra bricks and morter. The minute he gets home from practice he strips off all his clothes and explodes bare assed through that thing. Of course he has to rebuild, but with his all inclusive skill set he is also one hell of a brick layer.

Truly, the list goes on and on for Yoder, but there is one true deciding factor why for me why the guy sould be in the game. He is an absolute playmaker. No bullshit. Put Yodes in the game and he will get shit done. If you get a chance to watch the guy he won't dissapoint - expect a big weekend for 87!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Ebay Pottery

Over the last couple weeks everyone has asked me what I have been doing. Honestly I've tried to keep busy with all kinds of stuff. Working out lasts about an hour a day, other than Dexter, Californication and the occasional Dan Helle, I really don't like TV and I need a reason not to drink beers every afternoon. (Yea, I'm aware that IR sounds better than a kick in the sack.) But to be honest, I gotta have something productive to do.

Thus, I've been dominating some pottery (Or trying, but I sure as hell can smash the clay all over the place if it doesn't work out.) and back to the what to do question? - I have literally spent and average of 10 hours a day going back to home made pottery school. It was cool to come home in the season and do some work on the wheel. I was involved beyond average trying to raise money for charity, but I have moved to another level of art awesome. Lame or not, I achieved truck drivers ass last week watching endless youtube pottery video, fortunatly no hemroid though! I have made trips to learn from guys like David Norton and Richard Busch - a couple amazing local potters who are above and beyond cool to help me out with my little obsession. I've now started to expanded my knowledge to mixing my own glazes, thanks largly in part to Fran at Manassas Clay, who without, I couldn't have even begun.

Things in my basement studio are really starting to come together and while I would much rather be playing football, I can't and I can't complain about becoming an artist. Through the last month I've collected more than 300 finished pots. Although, I would have liked the work to culminate in a show like I had planned, I still have them and am still willing to sell them for charity. Ebay now seems like my best option, not only because tons of people check it out, but cause it's cool as hell to watch the bidding on a item. I will be selling two different items from the art studio every day on Ebay for as long as I have stuff, which at the rate I'm at will be forever.

Also, since unbelievable observations seem to be made in a large numbers posted I will go ahead and say I look awesome. The pants I'm wearing are cool as hell!

Check out Ebay. My username is cooley717523 or you can search Chris Cooley ceramic. Really, it's pretty cool stuff, well at least I'm proud.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Special Invite

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


I just wanted to quickly state there was no judgement passed by me in my conversation on the radio yesterday. The conversation turned to the play calling technique used by the offense of the Washington Redskins. I was asked what was happening and provided an explanation. (Note: The same explanation that was provided and explained in detail on the game broadcast this week.) While I did add our new system was strange, it has started to work for our team. I have no problem with what's going on in our huddle and am excited about how our offense and Jason Campbell is performing as of late.

I also stated that I'm proud of how our head coach has handled the situation and prepared the team to play hard every week. It's not an easy task for any coach and I feel like we have played hard and been in every game - even with the plethora of injuries.

Again, I am passing no judgement toward our team. I simply explained what was going on.

Lastly, it sucks were losing and it sucks for me that I can't help the team. I would like to say that I'm completely behind the coaches, players, our owner and our organization. This has been a great home for me for the last six years and I am proud to be a Redskin.