Saturday, December 12, 2009

Todd Freakin' Yoder

Don't expect to see any kind of let down in Oakland this week at fullback. Mike Sellers was taken to the hospital after last weeks game following a brutal hit in the leg. Sellers, still recovering will have to miss this weeks game. That leaves no one but my roommate Todd Yoder to knock some silver and black dicks in the dirt.

Todd and I spoke briefly today about the game and concluded that he will not play a "shit-ton," but there seems to be close to the same amount of Regular personnel in the game as before. We may also run more of a two tight end set on Sunday. Knowing first hand the versatility of Yoder I would be substandard in my opinion to see him play less than half the offensive game.

Taking a look closer at what Todd Yoder can do for a team is more impressive than Megan Fox's ass, well, maybe more like the computer girl from the first transformer's ass, but still pretty damn good. Yodes is every quality a football team and fan base could hope for. He is tough as nails, doesn't matter what's wrong, he's always on the field.

Yoder takes the same hit Lawerence Taylor put on Theisman while simultanously chewing up a beer bottle and he still has the wherewithal to piss on my broken ankle. Todd is one of the smartest guys I know, a Vanderbilt chemistry major who reads the playbook like Johnny 5. I've actually woke up on game day listening to Yoder give advice to my little brother on his MCAT exam. Crazy smart that guy. Well, a lot of players may be smart and tough, but Todd is the final Joe Gibbs ingredient - physical! Don't be surprised when you see Yodes running through people on Sunday. The first thing he did when he moved to my house was build and eight foot brick wall, also compiling a shed full of extra bricks and morter. The minute he gets home from practice he strips off all his clothes and explodes bare assed through that thing. Of course he has to rebuild, but with his all inclusive skill set he is also one hell of a brick layer.

Truly, the list goes on and on for Yoder, but there is one true deciding factor why for me why the guy sould be in the game. He is an absolute playmaker. No bullshit. Put Yodes in the game and he will get shit done. If you get a chance to watch the guy he won't dissapoint - expect a big weekend for 87!

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Dear Chris,

My name is Walter R. Coleman (Evan)and I am the Chairman of the United States Fallen Heroes Foundation.

We are the foundation that will be building the United States National Memorial that will honor all of the Fallen Airmen, Marines, Sailors, and Soldiers that gave their lives in The Gulf War, and Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom.

We are currently seeking individuals who are known for their honesty, and integrity, to champion this National Memorial in the form of a PSA.

I was speaking to SFC John Metzler, the NCO in charge of the National Guard Bureau in Washington, DC, and he recommended you highly.

Seems you have a ton of military fans, worldwide.

Sir, would you be willing be be one of the faces for the National Memorial?

It would mean a great deal to the families of the Fallen and to us.

I can be reached at the following:

Walter R. Coleman (Evan)
United States Fallen Heroes Foundation
Main: (817) 808-2138

Wow, 2 posts in 1 week, that deserves a comment. Of course the comment posted above mine means a whole lot more, that's quite an honor and offer.

Now 4 my stupidness. The whole line about the LT hit and Yoder pissing on your broken ankle is gold.

It also appears that you're doing a great job of turning Yoder into the Brutus "The Barber" Beefacke. I mean, does anyone else see this?

On a side note, I'm thinking of renting a room at my house so I can buy 1 of those beer mugs on ebay.

We're all going 2 get laid.

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