Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Olympic Top 10

I compiled an olympic hotness top ten to talk about on "The Drive" with Al Galdi and Steve Czaban today.  You can check out our show every day on ESPN980.   The list was actually much harder that I expected considering there is an inordinate amount of beauty walking around Sochi right now.  Thank god all the athletes have the website "Tinder" so they can enjoy hooking up with each other for the month.  I am imagining the amount of medals collected will be remembered by some of the athletes about as much as the notches on the belt.   

This is my top ten.  I'm sure there will be girls left off.  If you have a problem with the selections let me know.  

Number 10 Torah Bright

Torah Bright is an Aussie snowboarding star who currently lives in Salt Lake City.  Not only is she pretty hot, she is pretty freaking amazing at snowboarding.  Winning a silver medal in the women's half-pipe. Bright, who slightly resembles Ali Larter would definitely fit in a whip cream bikini.

Number 9 Sarah Hendrickson

First female ski jumper in olympic history.  Sarah says she loves the feeling of flying.  Just need more pictures of her clothes flying off to move her up the charts!

Number 8 Hannah Teeter

Teeter's name is synonymous with hot athletes.  She's a baller on a snowboard and she receives outstanding accolades for pictures of ass and snow boots.  Those little red panties, they pass the test.

Number 7 Jackie Chamoun 

Most famous Lebanese skier for a couple of reasons.  First, there are only two Lebanese olympians, second, she took naked pictures and looks unbelievable.  Strategically placed hiding skies are exactly what I want to think about when I turn on NBC to watch the game.  Jackie studied sports event management in switzerland and I definitely capable of managing her body.  

Number 6 Alissa Czisny

American Figure Skater.  Beautiful.  Enough said.  

Number 5 Svetlana Kolmykova

Russian hockey player and a kickstart to the amazingness of the Russian female olympians.  This girl is not only a knockout, she is a badass.   Talk about male hockey players dating celebrity hotties in america, but I say we start up a female NHL and let the Russian girls come over.  This would become a major problem for men in hollywood.  Wood.  

Number 4 Clair Bidez 

Bidez is competing in her first olympics at Sochi.  While she didn't make the cut in 2010 for the USA olympic half-pipe team, she sure as shit made the SI swimsuit calendar.  26 years old, from Vail Colorado, Clair is exactly what you hope to ride up the lift with on a snowy day.  Move her down you list if you like long legs, move her way up your list if you like tight, hot, short girls with mad skills.  

Number 3 Ekaterina Stolyarova

I think there could possibly be 4 girls on this current hottest olympic list that are not only russian, but named Ekaterina.  If I have a daughter I think I will lean more toward the name Ekaterina.  Has a nice ring to it.  This girl is a freestyle skier which means she is awesome at sliding on rails.  I would  watch her go switch onto the rail with a kinked slide mute grab all day long.
Number 2 Silje Norendal

Another drop dead gorgeous snowboarder.  I mean wow.  If I didn't have at least one beautiful blond Norwegian in the top ten I would have been crazy and I feel no remorse putting Silje at number 2.  She may be the prettiest face you see on NBC television this month.
There were a couple of snowboard girls I left out.  Of course Lindsay Vaughn.  She is not hard to look at, but I've done it enough times.    I also left out a couple of russian girls, yea, russians again!  Alena Zavarzina and Alyona Alexhina are standing 9's.  I just got tired of the snowboard girl theme.  

Number 1     The russian curling team (Anna Sidarova, Ekaterina Galinka, Olga Zyablikova, Alexandra Saitova)

This unbelievable bevy of hotness leaves me wondering only one thing?  How the hell do I get a job on the Russian athletic training staff.   There aren't too many injuries in the sport of curling, but I think I could help out with sore muscle issues.  "You have a sore groin? Yea, I can fix that.  You're tight in the glute?  Well pull your pants down around your knees and let me take a look."  This trainer is maybe the luckiest human to spend time in Sochi.  He doesn't give two shits if rats are pissing in his hotel bed, he wakes up, smiles, and goes to work.  Tough days.  

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Lindsay Vohn is definitely in the top ten. Hands down.

Cooley, check out russian figure skater Elena ilinykh, amazing face and body!

If anna prugova doesn't make this list I say you have no taste. I would love to slap a shot into her net.

Agreed. She is smoking hot. Prugova has to be somewhere. She is another one of these Russians, so I am surprised he missed her. Maybe shes a bit tall for his likes (5'9")

I've always enjoyed coming home and telling my wife one of the good stories I'd heard while listening to your show while driving home. However, tonight my wife and I were driving to a basketball game and were listening to the drive while you were doing the Cooley's Olympic top 10!! She was not as amused as I was with the Mormon back 9 discussion. She never wants to hear another word about your show again.. even if it's a Gary Williams story, who she loves... oh brother.... boxed out again!

Kudos on the number one ranking for the ridiculous hot Russian curlers.

Sounds like you need to trade your wife in for one with a sense of humor! Or get her a boob job so she isn't so bitter.

1. Silje Norendal
2. Ashley Wagner

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