Thursday, October 6, 2011

Reigniting a Rivalry

In my weekly appearance on 106.7 The Fan with Chad Dukes and LaVar Arrington I made some comments regarding Tony Romo. “It's amazing, amazing to watch him choke like that … there's no way that Detroit is gonna drive on you that many times. The only way you're gonna give up that many points is turnovers, right? It was hilarious to watch him throw pick-sixes, too, back to back. I loved it.” The conversation then turned to a hypothetical cage match between Romo and myself, which I insinuated that I would win because of my wrestling background. And now, a joking, lighthearted situation, which in my opinion, has received 15 times the 15 minutes of fame it deserved, warrants my response.

In a league full of glad-handing and ass slapping between competing teams, I actually care about the organization and fan base that has supported me throughout my 8-year career. While I feel an honest respect for all NFL players, I show no remorse in cheering against another team, especially the Cowboys. If it sounded like I was delighted by Tony Romo’s failure last week, I was. Though I have no personal vendetta toward Romo, my feelings for him had nothing to do with me reveling in a divisional foe blowing the biggest 2nd half lead in the history of its proud franchise. Now before the rivalry-igniting defense of my comments, I would like to state a couple of facts:

In a new age where professional athletes can “engage” with their fans like never before, it has become evident that the NFL is an entertainment-based business. Though players earn their worth on the football field, there’s not a player in the league unfamiliar with the media. And as a player who has decided to share my real personality with the fan base, I make a clear choice with expressing my political incorrectness as an entertaining attempt to engage as a real person. I will not apologize if my sense of humor and hint of sarcasm is difficult to ascertain by the more serious NFL supporters. I will never make an apology to any offended Dallas fans and I expect every Redskin fan to cheer at the folly of a Cowboy.

That said, after seeing the frenzy of peevish Cowboy fan banter over the past 24 hours I have to say that the peculiar defense of “America's quarterback” has completely blown me away. From genius talking heads like Skip Bayless and former Maryland great Norman Esiason to the bible thumping twitter bullies, it's very clear that a cult like group of Dallas supporters has emerged to stand in defense of the epic Tony Romo. To them, my tongue-and-cheek opinions scream sacrilege and idiocy. It’s a funny thing, the way simple lighthearted banter can change gears so quickly, but that’s part of the amazing world of sports fanatics. You don’t want me to be boring, but as soon as I’m entertaining I’m crossing a line. You can’t have it both ways.

Finally, those of you that responded on Twitter, you made this easy. Your clumsy charm and the outpouring of the appalling tweets has inspired me to feed the fire of an NFL rivalry that seems in need the more flame. Thank you for caring so much. I genuinely appreciate you making me the number 1 Google search yesterday. I’d like to give a special thanks to those fans who want to choke me out, burn my house down and not only see me endure career ending injury, but break my neck and die. Clearly football is important to you, you are the people who make the NFL what it is!

I’m aware at this point, that I could choose the high road, but a little pettiness makes for much more fun. Plus, I’m assuming if you tweeted you wouldn’t mind a response. I would have loved to spend more time with more responses because it really was fun, but I just picked a couple. Oh and Skip Bayless, I didn’t forget you. I just haven’t decided if I should hoot and holler on air or take the time to write something nice for you. If you have an opinion either way let me know.

For those of you opposed to profanity, I suggest stopping here:

@Krimm9 Chris Cooley is an absolute joke. He is the most overrated player at his position in FB. He should laugh at his career stats, that is funny!
Yea I’m laughing. 427 catches, 4,704 yards, and 33 touchdowns. I’m on my hands and knees.
@kreutzbag303 @thecooleyzone what have you ever done in your career that gives you the right to talk shit to Romo. You're a bum. Fred Davis owns you.
Google me bitch. Also, Fred Davis owns many nice things, but I am not one of them.
@youngnandobaby @thecooleyzone you talk so much shit yet you're garbage now. 2nd string TE struggling to get play time on a struggling offense. #JustRetire
“Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid.” I simply referenced my happiness for the outcome of a game. That isn’t “talking shit.”
@thetrovester who TF is chris cooley to rip on anyone? how many rings does he have again? Asshole
Hypocritical statement, but I will flip it just for fun. @thetrovester Who TF are you and how many rings do you have? Genius…
@AhadSRaza I hope you shatter your patella doing ballet with Colt Brennan.
Ahad, I’m extremely concerned with how much my comments bothered you. This definitely wasn’t you most offensive comment and by no means your most idiotic, but I didn’t want to waste more time for the people reading this. Thanks to you I punched the code on my home security system for first time in a long time.
@courtneymahia I want to punch Chris Cooley in his face for slandering Romo like that.
Definition of slander: A malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report. I’m pretty sure slander wasn’t quite the route I choose but I like your fight. If you’re gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough.
@zachbarton Have lost all my respect for Washington tight end @thecooleyzone. If you talk like a high school nothing that’s all you still are.
Zach, I’m guessing you got picked on a little bit in school. It’s ok, I’m sure you’re a real all-star now. Keep kickin’ ass buddy.
@chestos06 @thecooleyzone and if u are a real man, why challenge someone u out weigh by 40lbs. Be a man and go after Witten or DWare...chump!
Since your twitter picture is of a dog, I’m sure you’re not the worst person in the world. As far as the challenge, I currently weigh 232. The dude weighs 4 pounds less than me, Romo is listed at 228. The challenge seems fair to me. But in the world hypothetical cage matches, if I were “a real man” it probably wouldn’t be Witten I’d challenge; it’d be Brock Lesner.
@brad_hankins @thecooleyzone aka Chris Cooley is a little bitch. I’d fight that goofy dick sucker right now if I saw him
Seriously Brad, I guarantee you wouldn’t. I literally lock down a guarantee. You sounded tough for your friends though. So that’s cool.
@mitchinwitchita if u spent more time practicing than runnin' ur mouth, maybe u wouldn't be on the bench. #66yds #washedup#loser
Not quite sure if you’ve watched any games, but I’m not quite on the bench. I may be on your fantasy bench and that does break my heart a little bit, although it makes me smile that you care enough about me to look up my stats and respond to me.
@yimdawg chris cooley is an asshole.
Simple and to the point, I like it. Many of my friends concur with this.
@srobinson3708 @thecooleyzone what? Are you crying again coozie?
Pretty sure I wasn’t crying. Did you hear what I said or did you just jump at the chance to throw “coozie,” around all willy-nilly on twitter? And I know you’re not looking for any advice, but Penthouse Forum isn’t a solid substitute for a good old thesaurus.
Wow! I thought “coozie” was getting thrown around willy-nilly.
@everlastingxxx You are not worthy to swallow Wittens jizz.
I’m not quite sure what qualifications you need to become worthy? Explain what you had to do to acquire your status?

Ok, so you get it. The responses are getting more and more offensive and I will stop here. If you did send something I ensure you that I saw it. Thanks again and tomorrow should be fun Skippy.

Facebook Comments


I love you, Chris Cooley. It's a shame we are both married.

I love you, Chris Cooley. It's a shame we're both straight and married.

I love you, Chris Cooley. It's a shame you are married.

I love you, Chris Cooley. It's a shame we are both men.

I agree with Chris on most everything about Romo. That's our rival --- mouth off all you want. But I think you have to draw the line in the sand when it comes to responding to all the Twitter fodder. Those are mostly all anonymous donkies that button up if they came within ten feet of Chris. And thanks for posting the video. Stephen A. Smith CRUSHED Skip Bayless. Stephen A. hit it right on the head. But Bayless is a blow hard; and he knows he HAS TO play it up to the camera to stay entertaining. I hardly blame him. I get this feel that somewhere, behind the ESPN curtain, someone is blowing Bayless' head up and encouraging to be over the top. Every now and then he smirks because he knows that his act is stalling but he has to press forward. I can hardly blame the guy. I'm sure he's clocking nice checks. Chris, stay strong dude. If a tweet bugs you, put down the twitter machine for a while and go stick your hands in some clay for a while.

I love you, Chris Cooley. It's a shame I'm single, older than your mom and you are married.

Brilliant and perfect Chris Cooley!

The media just loves hating on us!

I'm not a Redskins fan, but I'd come to your blog every week if you made the twitter responses a regular thing. Great stuff man, keep up the good work (except when you play my team...but you knew I'd say that!)

Welcome to the twilight of your career, lol. What's it like watching another man (Fred Davis) take over your spot. You're simply howling at the moon hoping someone will think you're still relevant. Question? What's been your team's record against the Cowboys since you've been playing? Seriously, you come off like a little bitch in your comments, but I appreciate you fishing for support from the 'Skins fans by appealing to the "hey, this is just a rivarly" bit. By the way, purely an ad hominem, but nevertheless true, you look like a freakin' possum, fruitcake.

Instead of slamming on Romo you might want to pay attention to you being a productive Tight End again. Fred Davis is taking over your role and you're calling out Tony Romo for throwing 3 interceptions in a game. Your right he did choke, but atleast he plays enough to determine the outcome of a game.

One of the main reasons (in my opinion) that Redskins fans love you as much as they do is because of how you act like a lot of us - fans of our team who absolutely DELIGHT in every Cowboys' loss. You're absolutely awesome.

Now, just to add some fuel to the fire - how did the Eagles' chokejob sit with you? Having both teams blow 20 point leads in the same week added to the win over the Rams made my week.

I don't get to watch the Redskins much, and I'm no fan of Tony Romo and the Cowboys, and I can't say I'm sorry you're married. What I will say is, bravo, Mr. Cooley. Well-said, and thank you for being willing to take what comes from remarks for which you offered no apology. You demonstrate character and integrity by standing by your comments.

I've always found you a good player, by the way. And now that I know your Twitter name, I'll follow you there.

Best writer in the NFLPA.

/Seahawks fan
p.s. another picture of your lovely wife would be appreciated. :)

BEST BLOG POST EVER. You're still the man, just keep getting healthier, stay healthy, and blow it up out there!

For people who have been complaining for the years that the Redskins-Cowboys rivalry is not what it used to be, this is our chance to get that excitement back!

Can I get a DALLAS SUCKS?!

Thanks for being a Redskins fan, not just an employee. I am now especially proud to don #47 on Sundays!

I thought Skip Bayless was going to cry. Hilarious. I cannot wait to hear how you respond, but if you don't mind here's my own jab at Skippy:

Dear Skip, I am shocked, SHOCKED SIR!, at your outrageous response to Chris Cooley's comment that he enjoyed watching Tony Romo choke against the Lions. Did you fail listening comprehension in kindergarten because you immediately referenced other performances in which Romo did not choke. Coincidentally, Chris Cooley did not comment on those performances. You trotted out the Cowboys' record against the Redskins while Cooley has been playing. It's 9-6, though in 2009 Chris missed both games due to injury, so in games he's played they are 7-6. Oooo, burn. Funnily enough, Chris Cooley didn't mention the Cowboys' record, nor make any disparaging comment about the team or their talent. Yet despite saying nothing more than that he enjoyed watching a fierce rival make mistakes you got SOOOOOOO MAD! You basically told him to watch his back when Dallas comes to town. Are you going to be bodyguarding Tony Romo's feelings, Skip? Is that it?

Here's what I think, Mr. To-my-lou: deep down, you know that Chris Cooley's observation was accurate. You know that Tony Romo choked against the Lions. You know it, but you cannot say it because he's "your guy". You've defended him time and time again and every time he screws up he makes you look foolish for standing up to him. He's your drunk sportstalk uncle, always embarrassing you in front of your friends. And you resent that. You hate that you predicted his greatness and it keeps not happening. You hate that he makes you look bad. So you lash out to defend him. Except it's really your own reputation you're worried about, your own ego that's got two black eyes. Do yourself a favor, quit enabling Tony Romo and call a choke a choke. You're embarrassing yourself.

Talk is cheap but Cooley is filling the back with all his blabbing. Maybe he should just show it November 20th, or will he be non-existant again...time will tell.

Awesome, Chris. I've been a huge fan since the day you were drafted 81st overall in 2004. I wear your kids wear your jersey (not popular here in Charlotte, NC, but screw 'em). I love that you hate the Cowboys. Since I was a wee babe in me mom's arms, I've been a Redskins fan and a Cowboys hater. It's nice to see a Redskin player who hates the Cowboys as much as I do. That's the way this rivalry should be.

To Skip Bayless, I say "horseshit".

Keep it up, Cooley.

Nice work mate! I watched Romo getting trashed on 'No Huddle' I thought you held back in comparison to those guys! LOL

Chris, you are the man. What great stuff. Skip is a joke and will always be a joke. The Twitter responses are great! Keep them coming. I have always rooted for 2 teams, the Redskins and who ever is playing Dallass!

#47 goes Bunnyman on Romo. Most of these offended CowPieHoles live in the DC area. They think you get to Arlington by driving up I-66 and taking the Rosslyn exit. These same tools invest in LaBron jerseys and wear NY baseball hats. Pound sand you poser sports fans! Cooley has kept a smile on his face and been positive on the team when the Skins sucked meat over the last eight years. He stuck with players and coaches on his own team. We haven't had anything really to cheer for the last twenty years and it's fun for a change. Some Giants fan turned around and told me "act like you've won something!" when I got done screaming my head off for Kerrigan's pick six. I responded "act like you're getting ready to tear ShEli a new butthole because he's over. Get used to losing."
Shanahan will get us back. I can really sense it now. It's real. Thanks Chris for getting us through a really horrible patch. We love you... Sure your mom never hooked up with Riggo like 30 years ago?

I love you chris cooley! I'm pretty sure you're the only player in recent memory to be a passing tight end, a blocking tight end, an H-back and last week you were even the fullback! Stay amazing CC!

You are the man Cooley. Redskins Nation got your back and always will.

Looks like the Skins second best TE is starting to feel awesome because they hold a 1 game lead after beating scrubs like Arizona and St. Louis.

just what you'd expect from a redskin.
i, for one, am pretty positive i let out a louder shout for that calvin johnson td at the end of the game than for the santana moss td in the rams game.
and i'd be mightily unhappy if chris took any of that back.
now go catch some passes next game.

Okay, all you cowboys fans posting. Admit it. You'd rather have someone other than Romo. In DC, when someone screws up, we call it a Romo! Stephen A. Smith said it best.

A Comedically Classy Complete Competitor that can write, block, catch, run and make a clay pot. HoF 47.

Cooley you're such a douche. I remember your stupid comments when I lived in D.C. serving in the Honor Guard. Who won that game between you and the Cowboys two weeks ago? Oh wait now I remember the Cowboys did. You had a total of 4 catches for 41 yards. OOOOH! Scary Chris Cooley. We have circled the date Nov. 20th Chris Cooley. D-Ware is coming for you. Not only are you going to choke, but you are going to get choked out. Have a good week buddy.

Hey Cools,

As probably the only Redskins Fan who actually likes Tonys fight, I have to say that I love what your doing and I love the firestorm it has created! The funniest part about all of this is that Cowboy fans across the country have been SCREAMING about Tony choking for the past few years! It's one of their favorite topics when they talk football!

Skip Bayless needs to relax and actually LISTEN to what was said and how it was said. Then he needs to take a nap...

Please, please, please don't let all of this silliness stop you from having your fun both online and on the radio!


one of my favorite skins players by far :) love it. btw: httr.


cage match.
make it happen.
i can get Superflydisco to play

what dress size do you wear on the field? small or extra small? does it cover your shrunken testicles?

how many cleveland steamers can i fit into one of your beautiful hand crafted pots?

@anthony_romo The number of Cleveland Steamers is roughly equivalent to the number of Rusty Trombones your mother has graced me with.

do you ever pretend to be Demi More while making your pottery?

do you pick up Shanahan's dry cleaning once or twice a week?

is it true that your movie production company's feature presentation "Ghosts Don't Exist" made over $7.63 it's opening weekend?

chris, i'm short on coasters- can i order multiple copies of "Ghosts Don't Exist" from amazon?

chris, will there be a "Ghosts Don't Exist 2"?

Great post.

Cowboy fans may be shocked to hear this but everyone in the country that isn't a Cowboy fan HATES the Cowboys. Kind of like how people that aren't Yankee fans HATE the Yankees.

Look forward to hearing you as a broadcaster when your playing career is over.

is it true that even Nic Cage turned down a role for "Ghosts Don't Exist"?

You are the best. I knew there was a reason I named my Golden Retreiver after you 6 years ago. Keep rattling those Dallas fan boy's cages and please never leave DC.

chris, remember- when i'm at the pro bowl this year i like an extra umbrella in my mai tai, thanks

Sports talk is 90% junk. Espn (walt Disney) and love blowing
Shit up far beyond there respective being. Cooley spoke his mind.
Did a great job. Carry the fuck on world. The truth will be spoken
Once in a while and they who get mad are usually the ones fucking up.
And thanks Cooley for addressing Boomer by his real name and the only
Real time he mattered in the game of football. Thanks for the gear you
You gave the Wildcat football team a few years back. My friend coaches the defensive

I love his response so much I created a cartoon. Check out Cooley's "Nelson" vest.

I am a lifelong Cowboy fan. Born in Pittsburgh, PA but a Tony Dorsett fan who followed him from Pitt to Dallas and stuck with it. I hate all NFC East rivals of the Cowboys, but especially the 'Skins! All that said, I see nothing wrong with your comments. Honestly and with no sarcasm here you may be the only Redskin I like as a result. You should be able to hate a divisional rival. You should be able to celebrate their failure. Plus, it's true that he choked. Three second-half interceptions, 2 for touchdowns and 2 on horrible decisions, are not a tribute to the Lions' greatness. Romo blew it.

I miss the days of real dislike between teams. I miss Randy White, Deacon Jones, Jack Lambert and others like them.. I say, hate the Cowboys as much as you like. Say anything you want. It won't make me hate the 'Skins more than I already do.

By the way, how bad do you have to suck to lose to a walking wounded team with an injured choke artist at the helm, 15 to 12? Ha!!!!!

C-money, my dude, keep doing work, keep putting up stats, forget and fuck everyone outside of the DMV that aren't 'Skins fans. You didn't say a damn thing wrong or disrespectful when talking about Romo, just nothing but the truth. Sheeeeeeeeeeit, we've won more playoff games than Romo has. Keep doing work, I will always rock your Pro Bowl jersey to every game I have the chance to attend. Every single 'Skins fan is behind you, no worries my dude. By the way: smack your hot ass wife's ass for me. Be easy, good sir.

You are the man. This makes me feel less of an evil person for going on Dallas' website and talking shit in their own backyard. Hail Cooley!

Thanks Chris. I'm a Giants fan and inversely don't like the Redskins. But at least I respect them. They've been solid rivals for years and always play the Giants tough and seemingly respectfully. That said, I hate the Cowboys. The America's team moniker is complete BS. I HATE them.

If critics are allowed to praise QBs left and right and give all the credit to them when their team wins, why can't they do the opposite and point out that real fans of football feel the same way that you do? Honestly, I don't need to see interviews about game plans being adjusted at the half, giving 110%, one game at a time, I'm not out for revenge against my former team, etc. I WANT to hear from players the way a typical fan thinks. I DON'T want to hear ESPN cronies bash on players for speaking their opinions. I DON'T care that you have no rings (Well, I kinda like it). But as an NFL player, you've earned the right to talk shit. Keep talking!

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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

I'm a Patriots fan and if we lose the only thing that makes the week bearable is if The Jets lose and Mark falls flat on his back like girl on her high school prom! You're the man keep your honest ways and keep pranking... I seriously think you should prank Junior!
Good luck with the rest of the season.
Ps I had Washington as my sleeper team this year, I knew you'd be good and I made a bet with my PT who's an Eagle fan, keep it up and I'll get free workouts for a year! Ds

Love me some Cooley... Hope u play for the Redskins for a long time. However, I think you should consider joining 106.7. It should be the LaVarr and Cooley Show.

Dear Chris Cooley,
You are my favorite player on the Redskins and have been so for a long time. I'm pretty sure I've watched all your videos like 3 or 4 times. I was deeply saddened to hear that you will be out for the season, that really upset me, but I hope very much that your knee gets better and you will be ready to go next season. Watching the Redskins isn't the same when you are not on the field. Your my favorite player to the point where i just want to see you play in the superbowl, I don't even care which team you play for. You're an exciting player to watch, and i can't wait to see you dominate next year. I'm already calling you the come back player of the year ffor the 2012-2013 season.
Redskins fans everywhere

You deserve a chance to retire as a Skin. You have been one of the few bright spots over the past several years. If the Skins can ever get their S- together, and you and Fred can get on the field at the same time, the offense would be far less predictable. I think Kyle will eventually figure out how to use two stud tight ends at the same time.

The finger was probably a blessing, because you really needed to take care of that knee.

As for the Cowboys, F- them, nothing personal.

Let's see what happens next week

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