Reigniting a Rivalry

In my weekly appearance on 106.7 The Fan with Chad Dukes and LaVar Arrington I made some comments regarding Tony Romo. “It's amazing, amazing to watch him choke like that … there's no way that Detroit is gonna drive on you that many times. The only way you're gonna give up that many points is turnovers, right? It was hilarious to watch him throw pick-sixes, too, back to back. I loved it.” The conversation then turned to a hypothetical cage match between Romo and myself, which I insinuated that I would win because of my wrestling background. And now, a joking, lighthearted situation, which in my opinion, has received 15 times the 15 minutes of fame it deserved, warrants my response.

In a league full of glad-handing and ass slapping between competing teams, I actually care about the organization and fan base that has supported me throughout my 8-year career. While I feel an honest respect for all NFL players, I show no remorse in cheering against another team, especially the Cowboys. If it sounded like I was delighted by Tony Romo’s failure last week, I was. Though I have no personal vendetta toward Romo, my feelings for him had nothing to do with me reveling in a divisional foe blowing the biggest 2nd half lead in the history of its proud franchise. Now before the rivalry-igniting defense of my comments, I would like to state a couple of facts:

In a new age where professional athletes can “engage” with their fans like never before, it has become evident that the NFL is an entertainment-based business. Though players earn their worth on the football field, there’s not a player in the league unfamiliar with the media. And as a player who has decided to share my real personality with the fan base, I make a clear choice with expressing my political incorrectness as an entertaining attempt to engage as a real person. I will not apologize if my sense of humor and hint of sarcasm is difficult to ascertain by the more serious NFL supporters. I will never make an apology to any offended Dallas fans and I expect every Redskin fan to cheer at the folly of a Cowboy.

That said, after seeing the frenzy of peevish Cowboy fan banter over the past 24 hours I have to say that the peculiar defense of “America's quarterback” has completely blown me away. From genius talking heads like Skip Bayless and former Maryland great Norman Esiason to the bible thumping twitter bullies, it's very clear that a cult like group of Dallas supporters has emerged to stand in defense of the epic Tony Romo. To them, my tongue-and-cheek opinions scream sacrilege and idiocy. It’s a funny thing, the way simple lighthearted banter can change gears so quickly, but that’s part of the amazing world of sports fanatics. You don’t want me to be boring, but as soon as I’m entertaining I’m crossing a line. You can’t have it both ways.

Finally, those of you that responded on Twitter, you made this easy. Your clumsy charm and the outpouring of the appalling tweets has inspired me to feed the fire of an NFL rivalry that seems in need the more flame. Thank you for caring so much. I genuinely appreciate you making me the number 1 Google search yesterday. I’d like to give a special thanks to those fans who want to choke me out, burn my house down and not only see me endure career ending injury, but break my neck and die. Clearly football is important to you, you are the people who make the NFL what it is!

I’m aware at this point, that I could choose the high road, but a little pettiness makes for much more fun. Plus, I’m assuming if you tweeted you wouldn’t mind a response. I would have loved to spend more time with more responses because it really was fun, but I just picked a couple. Oh and Skip Bayless, I didn’t forget you. I just haven’t decided if I should hoot and holler on air or take the time to write something nice for you. If you have an opinion either way let me know.

For those of you opposed to profanity, I suggest stopping here:

@Krimm9 Chris Cooley is an absolute joke. He is the most overrated player at his position in FB. He should laugh at his career stats, that is funny!

Yea I’m laughing. 427 catches, 4,704 yards, and 33 touchdowns. I’m on my hands and knees.

@kreutzbag303 @thecooleyzone what have you ever done in your career that gives you the right to talk shit to Romo. You're a bum. Fred Davis owns you.

Google me bitch. Also, Fred Davis owns many nice things, but I am not one of them.

@youngnandobaby @thecooleyzone you talk so much shit yet you're garbage now. 2nd string TE struggling to get play time on a struggling offense. #JustRetire

“Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid.” I simply referenced my happiness for the outcome of a game. That isn’t “talking shit.”

@thetrovester who TF is chris cooley to rip on anyone? how many rings does he have again? Asshole

Hypocritical statement, but I will flip it just for fun. @thetrovester Who TF are you and how many rings do you have? Genius…

@AhadSRaza I hope you shatter your patella doing ballet with Colt Brennan.

Ahad, I’m extremely concerned with how much my comments bothered you. This definitely wasn’t you most offensive comment and by no means your most idiotic, but I didn’t want to waste more time for the people reading this. Thanks to you I punched the code on my home security system for first time in a long time.

@courtneymahia I want to punch Chris Cooley in his face for slandering Romo like that.

Definition of slander: A malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report. I’m pretty sure slander wasn’t quite the route I choose but I like your fight. If you’re gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough.

@zachbarton Have lost all my respect for Washington tight end @thecooleyzone. If you talk like a high school nothing that’s all you still are.

Zach, I’m guessing you got picked on a little bit in school. It’s ok, I’m sure you’re a real all-star now. Keep kickin’ ass buddy.

@chestos06 @thecooleyzone and if u are a real man, why challenge someone u out weigh by 40lbs. Be a man and go after Witten or DWare...chump!

Since your twitter picture is of a dog, I’m sure you’re not the worst person in the world. As far as the challenge, I currently weigh 232. The dude weighs 4 pounds less than me, Romo is listed at 228. The challenge seems fair to me. But in the world hypothetical cage matches, if I were “a real man” it probably wouldn’t be Witten I’d challenge; it’d be Brock Lesner.

@brad_hankins @thecooleyzone aka Chris Cooley is a little bitch. I’d fight that goofy dick sucker right now if I saw him

Seriously Brad, I guarantee you wouldn’t. I literally lock down a guarantee. You sounded tough for your friends though. So that’s cool.

@mitchinwitchita if u spent more time practicing than runnin' ur mouth, maybe u wouldn't be on the bench. #66yds #washedup#loser

Not quite sure if you’ve watched any games, but I’m not quite on the bench. I may be on your fantasy bench and that does break my heart a little bit, although it makes me smile that you care enough about me to look up my stats and respond to me.

@yimdawg chris cooley is an asshole.

Simple and to the point, I like it. Many of my friends concur with this.

@srobinson3708 @thecooleyzone what? Are you crying again coozie?

Pretty sure I wasn’t crying. Did you hear what I said or did you just jump at the chance to throw “coozie,” around all willy-nilly on twitter? And I know you’re not looking for any advice, but Penthouse Forum isn’t a solid substitute for a good old thesaurus.

@A_PFL_Nigga CHRIS COOLEY IS A BITCH ASS NIGGA!!!

Wow! I thought “coozie” was getting thrown around willy-nilly.

@everlastingxxx You are not worthy to swallow Wittens jizz.

I’m not quite sure what qualifications you need to become worthy? Explain what you had to do to acquire your status?

Ok, so you get it. The responses are getting more and more offensive and I will stop here. If you did send something I ensure you that I saw it. Thanks again and tomorrow should be fun Skippy.

Interview with Jason LaCanfora for OCNN

NFL Total Access

Thanks @mtj8033 and @revjtanton

Q&A Chat From NFL.com

Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Hey, what's up. It's Chris. I'm excited to answer everyone's questions.

KJ Mahan, Lynchburg, Va 05:59 PM ET
Captain Chaos, what opposing linebacker do respect playing against the most? What have you seen from Fred Davis that makes you think he can be a big addition to this offense?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I have two great matchups every year with DeMarcus Ware, he's an outstanding player. He has the ability to do so many different things, he's good against the run, pass and can do it all. Fred Davis came in this offseason knowing what it takes to be a pro football player. He's working very hard in the weight room and definitely understand the offense better.

Avery, Ruston, Louisiana 06:00 PM ET
Your rookie year was the same year Joe Gibbs returned to football. What was your initial impression of the way Gibbs ran practices?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Gibbs' motto was: smart, tough, hard-nosed guys. And that's the way he ran practice. We had a quick tempo, but it was extremely physical.

Ryan Clutterbuck, Toronto, ON 06:01 PM ET
have you ever gotten in trouble for posting meeting or game plan notes on your blog?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I've never gotten in trouble for posting anything on my blog. The only gameplan notes posted on there, were overshadowed by a penis picture, which the team was not that concerned with. The NFL had a few more concerns, though.

tony, gaithersburg 06:02 PM ET
do u think the offense will be better in the 2nd year with zorn?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
No questions asked, we'll have a better offense. It's a hard transition, even for a guy like me to make, to make adjustments to a new offense. It was even more difficult for a quarterback. We'll all be much better the second time around.

Doug Schwartz, Eddyville Oregon 06:03 PM ET
Hey Chris, I'm a high school teacher and football coach here in Oregon...I'm also a diehard skins fan! My students get extra credit when the skins win...would I be taking it too far if I painted my classroom in burgundy and gold?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I think that you should strongly encourage the janitorial staff to paint the classrooms burgundy and gold. You should get the art classes to put Redskins logos on top.

Jesse, Washington D.C. 06:05 PM ET
Hey chris big redskins fan.How do u think Jason Campbells mindset will be for this year with all the trade rumors surronding him cuz it sounded to me that they were trying to trade him numerous times?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Because it was so boldly discussed in the media, didn't mean that was exactly the team's intentions. Obviously there were talks and Jason was very disappointed in that, but he's definitely our guy now. He came back and showed great leadership in minicamp and is ready to have an outstanding season.

lampe21, philly 06:06 PM ET
whos the locker room clown
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
The fun thing about our locker room is that we have a bunch of guys who like to goof around. A day never goes by where I don't hear Smoot screaming about something.

David, Bristol, CT 06:07 PM ET
Hey Chris! What are some of your personal goals going into the season? and are u a videogamer?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Obviously I always want to play my best. It's important to me to contribute to the team in any way I can. As far as goals, I just want our football team to win games. I like to play videogames a lot, but it's really the only thing that ticks me off, so I try to stay away from smashing controllers.

Wazir , Fairburn, Ga. 06:09 PM ET
Who is the most serious and most intense player on the team?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Randy Thomas is the most serious player that I've ever been around. He's super intense.

Rahjohn, new jersey 06:11 PM ET
why are u always open, do u think that defenses just don't respect u?????????
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
It would be hard to say that I'm always open. I know that it's a different view from the TV screen than it is from the quarterback's eyes. I wish defenses had no respect for me, because I would definitely tally 20 catches a game.

Brian G, New Jersey 06:12 PM ET
Chris, I know your a rough and tough player especially over the middle, is there a team you might have a "second guess" about going over the middle or staying back and blocking?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Never. Never bothers me to sacrifice my body for a catch. I like playing physical football. Obviously, I'm not going to complain when another team isn't as physical, but it doesn't bother me.

yansen, sergeant bluff 06:13 PM ET
should i draft you in the upcoming fantasy draft?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
To be honest. I'd put myself definitely in the top-5 tight ends, I always have the potential to have a big week. Obviously there is good value there in the fourth or fifth round.

Danyaal Mahmood, Fairfax, Virginia 06:15 PM ET
What do you think about the NFL's proposal to cut off to preseason games and to make the regular season 18 games long?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I think it's a tough proposal. And I have to say I'm kind of two-sided on it. No one likes preseason and other than watching young players, there's not a lot of relevance to the games. But on the other hand it's tough making it all the way through the season without injuries or fatigue. So, the extra two games may be hard. All that said, if they are going to pay us accordingly for the two games, I'd rather play the two season games and get out of training camp early.

Tank, NJ 06:17 PM ET
I think Jared Cook will be better than you. What do you think?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I do not know who Jared Cook is. Obviously, you're not a 'Skins fan. I think Paris Hilton would probably be a better sports analyst than you.

Azim, MD 06:19 PM ET
Is training camp really as boring and tiring as other players say it is?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Yes.

Mass, Toronto 06:19 PM ET
Chris, Capitals or Penguins, who wins game 7 tonight?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
All my buddies with the Caps are going to take it. Then they're going to win the Stanley Cup. Unleash the fury!

Brett, Canada 06:20 PM ET
What happend to your sick hair
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
The hair was gone midway through the '06 season. I just like the gameday picture, so I let it roll through last year. I'm working on growing it back, right now, though. The wife doesn't appreciate it as much as everyone else.

Jim, PA 06:21 PM ET
Hey Chris, if you could catch passes from any QB in history past or present (besides J.C.) who would it be?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
John Elway, and I did get to play catch with him a month ago. I rule.

Jeff, brantford, ON 06:22 PM ET
Chris, Do you play fantasy football, and do you think it is bad for the game the way some purists do? Also, on a similar note, do you pay attention to your ratings in Madden and do you think those guys know their stuff? Thank you for doing this by the way, it's great to hear form you guys personally.
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
There's nothing about fantasy football that's bad for the game. It makes fans that much more interested in what's going on. Honestly, no players really care about it, hardly anyone plays. The guys that do it, enjoy it, but it's not that big a deal. I check out the ratings every year, but I think it's cool this year, they are going to update it every week, based on the way the player performs in the actual games. I quit playing Madden when I got beat by a nine-year old kid online.

dan snyder, md 06:25 PM ET
Do u think u deserve a raise?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Why not? I'll always take more money. No, I'm pretty happy with my contract. I'll keep playing.

Dave, Dayton OH 06:26 PM ET
Hey Cooley, I have read a lot of posts lately that refer to Colt Brennan. A ton of skins fans out there want to see him as the starter.(Im not one of them) Does he have the potential to be a starter in the NFL or is his arm strength to much of a concern?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
No questions asked, Colt has the potential to be a starter in the NFL. He has all the qualities to get the job done. In the next couple of years, he'll get a shot somewhere.

albert haynesworth, md 06:27 PM ET
Are you scared of me at practice??
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
The first time I met Albert Haynesworth was at the Pro Bowl in 2007. I was told the game was pretty relaxed, play hard. In the first quarter we threw a pick and I slowly chased after the ball and Albert Haynesworth blindsided me. I've never been more upset.

Carlos, Nogales, Mexico 06:28 PM ET
Hi Chris, is the fantasy football ad "NFL pick me" for real? How many walls did you broke to catch that football !!! Hahahah
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I had to punch through the sheet rock 10 different times and cut my arm all up doing the commercial. Reebok did a really good job cutting the commercial.

Adam , VA 06:32 PM ET
Hey Chris who came up with the whoel Captain Choas deal? Good luck this season
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
We were playing St. Louis in 2006. I was goofing around in the locker room with a couple of buddies. It was when Gibbs was the coach and before the game, he used to elect captains by writing their name on a white board. This particular game was the first time I had been picked as a captain. Also, there was no reason behind his captain selections, I think it was just the first three names that popped into his head. I was bet that I wouldn't go onto the field and introduce myself to all the Rams captains as Captain Chaos. I had to walk up to Orlando Pace, Marc Bulger and Torry Holt and introduce myself as Captain Chaos. They looked at me like I was crazy.

aj, newport news,virgina 06:35 PM ET
did you have fun with chuck liddel singing journey? on a side note,do you follow mma?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I had a blast hanging out with Chuck Liddell, Brad Penny was hilarious. Steel Panther, the 80s band, was awesome. Heeeee-ooooo. I don't follow MMA.

Ricky Beachley, Frederick MD 06:37 PM ET
I like what you do with the football camps... what other charity work do you do? How can I help?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I've done a ton of stuff lately. I started a huge education program, where I've donated over $300,000 to schools and scholarships. I've done a bunch of breast cancer stuff, which has been great. We've also done a lot of reading events for kids. As far as helping out, take advantage of opportunities in your own community.

omar, dc 06:39 PM ET
why did you pick the number 47?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
It got put in my locker when I showed up in the offseason as a rookie.

paul umbaugh, port richey, FL 06:39 PM ET
Sup Chris, What Do you think of the newcomer brian orakpo?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
He has a deep voice and lots of muscles.

jim murphy, decatur il 06:40 PM ET
what is your favorite 80s band
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Can't say. Tough between Bon Jovi, Journey, Guns n' Roses and Madonna.

Chris, VA 06:42 PM ET
My favorite Redskin is Rypien. Who's yours?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
My favorite former Redskin is Gary Clark. Awesome dude, fun to be around, always a great guy with a lot of energy. Sonny and Sam run a close second.

andrew, kensignton md 06:43 PM ET
being from around the dc area the eastern motors commercials play all the time, and i love the one with you and alex ovi, is he really as crazy as he seems
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Ovechkin's wild. At that photo shoot, he put five pucks through the wall, missing goals.

Mistry, silver spring, MD 06:45 PM ET
How do you think Malcolm Kelly and Devin Thomas will do this year?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Devin looked great in the offseason, he's worked very hard. If Malcolm's knees can stay healthy, he could be an outstanding player.

Tom M, London, UK 06:47 PM ET
What's your personal favourite - beard, 'stach or clean shaven?
Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
I always have to go with somewhat of a beard. I hate clean-shaven and the moustache is cool, but too ugly.

Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins
Thanks everyone, I appreciate everyone taking the time to read this. It's been fun.

NFL Total Access and Ghosts Don't Exist

Just a quick update. First, if you didn't catch Chris on NFLTA I'm sure you still have a chance considering they replay that stuff 10 times a day. Plus he will be on again tomorrow. I told him to wear a Zimmerman jersey with a Caps shirt underneath but we'll see what happens. Second, we have already told you that Chris became friends with Vikings defensive end Jared Allen at the Pro Bowl but please do this, check out Jared's website. Particularly the video section which includes footage of him killing an elk with a spear, playing guitar hero, and explaining his mullet. It is pretty funny stuff. Last, we are almost done filming our movie, Ghosts Don't Exist, and tonight the world got a little teaser of what Chris's role in the film will look like. Check it out and tell us what you think.

To see more check out this link.

My Senior Bowl

The plane jumped and juked through the air. Over 20 college football players on board clasped their seats riding out the turbulent, storm filled air. Five minutes into the decent and panic was aboard the plane, though some joked about the rough air, many were praying and some, like myself sat statue still. We flew over the gulf of Mexico to begin a week of football practice in Mobile Alabama and all that shitty plane ride did was compound my nerves heading into an unknown world of professional sports.
Playing football at Utah State University doesn't exactly garner respect in the world of professional football. Yea, I destroyed Troy State's defense, caught 13 balls in Moscow Idaho and put up three scores against the Mean Green, but seriously, we're not talking about good football here. After two months of off season work and a wild plane trip, I was ready to show off my skills against the supposed best players in college football. The Senior Bowl is supposed to be the week where draft status is earned or lost, especially from a no-name tight end out of Utah State named Chris Cooley.

Over a hundred players arrive every year into the slow, quiet community of Mobile . The laid back town is filled with some of the nicest people you will ever meet. Guys will awkwardly gather and make their way on buses over to the hotel, many wondering what to expect and some ready for a beer drinking, Hooter's eating, bowl friendly atmosphere. Guys walk into the hotel glad handing each other, many teammates and most playing against each other for the last couple years. I arrived in Mobile nearly alone, and nervous. No one gave me a beer.

The first night there is a team meeting playbook installation. Learn your shit because practice is the next day and I quickly learned that practices are full tilt, balls to the wall. There is a wall of men smothering every play, and it's not just a couple scouts, it's head coaches, offensive and defensive coordinators. There is a beat everybody's ass attitude, or go home and be ashamed of what you've done. It's a chance for small school stars to earn big time respect, to show that I don't give a fuck that someone went to Ohio State or USC. Practices really are the game and with the practice week usually ending on Thursday all the coaches head back to their respective teams. How a guy practices and works is what teams want to know.
When practice ends a job interview begins and it's a strange process because you're interviewing for 32 teams and all of them want to talk about different, weird shit. Teams schedule meetings with guys throughout the night, usually ending around 12 o'clock, just depending on how much interest coaches have in a guy. My first night in Mobile I was interviewed by only one team, the Washington Redskins. Throughout the week my solid play yielded more and more interviews. In my meetings I was asked questions ranging from "What do you think about cover 2? Tell us what you love about playing football?" to the popular "When was the last time you smoked marijuana?" Really, it's funny that they even ask you, most of the time they already know, because they've studied your life, but you look head coaches in the eyes and answer and you answer honestly. "No I've never smoked marijuana. Yes, I breathe football."

As the week concludes and coaches filter out, the idea of some relief creeps in. Of course there is still the block I missed on Tuesday against that dude from Notre Dame and the time the guy from Oregon mauled me on the one on one route, but at least I don't have Parcells' condescending fat ass staring at me anymore.

Saturday rolls around and everyone feels the same way, just play the game and get the hell out of town. Though I played every other drive, I felt like I counted down every second on the clock. The whole time wondering why it couldn't continuously run. Again, the game didn't seem to have the same significance as the week and it may have showed in my play. I managed only one catch and was beaming when I walked out of the locker room for the last time in Mobile.

Looking back the plane ride was the perfect prelude to my experience. Sometimes the way there is a bag of shaken shit, but everybody's gotta put in the work to get where they want to be. Although I cringe as I watch those guys running around in Mobile this week, it is and will continue to be one of the best opportunities to make a name in the NFL.

Every Position

TC: 10 things I love about Adam Jones

That he took advantage of his name during his last suspension from the league by getting involved in professional wrestling. Gotta make money somehow.

I love that if you are lucky enough to hang with Pacman, chances are you'll be questioned by one or more policemen.

If you make Pacman mad, you might get spat on.

For taking out a full ad in The Tennessean, promising "he'll win back trust" of his teammates and fans." "To my family, teammates, coaches and fans, I recognize that I have lost the right to ask for your patience and understanding," Jones wrote. "However, I will do everything in my power to regain your trust and respect."

I love that his closest personal advisor is Deion Sanders.

For enjoying him some nightlife (who cares what the Commissioner of the NFL says).

First for having a bodyguard and second for throwing down with said bodyguard after getting a little tipsy.

For releasing a hip hop album through his own recording label, National Street League Records. Let it Shine Pac, Let it Shine.

For this

Jones and American rap artist Nelly patronized the club on the evening in question. Nelly, along with someone known only as Richard Rich, began to shower the stage with hundreds of one-dollar bills; an act known as making it rain." Jones then joined Nelly by throwing his own money for "visual effect." Club promoter Chris Mitchell then directed his dancers to collect the money. According to the club's co-owner, Jones became enraged when one of the dancers began taking the money without his permission. He allegedly grabbed her by her hair and slammed her head on the stage. A security guard intervened and scuffled with members of Jones' entourage of half a dozen people. Jones then allegedly threatened the guard's life. During this time, Mitchell and a male associate left the club with a garbage bag filled with $81,020 of Jones' money and two Breitling watches, which police later recovered.

After club patrons left following the original confrontation, the club owner claimed a person in Jones' entourage returned with a gun and fired into a crowd, hitting three people, including the security guard involved in the earlier skirmish. The guard was shot twice, and one of the people hit--former professional wrestler Tommy Urbanski--was paralyzed from the waist down. Jones maintains that he did not know the shooter, although the club's owner insists that Jones did. On March 26, 2007, the Las Vegas Police recommended to the city's district attorney that Jones be charged with one count of felony coercion as well as one misdemeanor count of battery and one misdemeanor count of threat to life.

Finally, I love Pacman for making Mr. Jerry Jones a bit red in the face.

2008 ALL-MAXIM TEAM

So if you put these two terms together, Maxim and Chris Cooley, the first thing that probably comes to mind is Christy. Well when we were on vacation in Wyoming Maxim magazine actually flew out a photographer to do a photo shoot of Chris. It was very crazy to have a 6’6" Swede telling Chris to “pop” his chin about 100 times during hour long shoot.

Besides seeing Chris' pic and interview in Maxim, I have to say the highlight of the article for me was Maxim’s list of other things Bill Belichick could cheat on; taxes, monopoly, your lady, World of Warcraft, and even death. It is definitely worth your time to go purchase this mag and check out the article.

NFL in the Olympics??

Friday marked the beginning of what is arguably the greatest combined sporting event in the world, The 2008 Summer Olympics. Every four years we have this unique opportunity to watch the best athletes from around the globe compete in their respective sports for a chance at the Gold. Undoubtedly over the next 21 days hearts will be broken and controversy will ensue. How could it not? The games are in China!

However, I realized this week that some of the most elite athletes in the world will not have the opportunity to participate. Instead they are busting their buts in training camps around the country preparing for what will certainly be a unique and unpredictable season as 32 teams all prepare to compete to be crowned the 2009 NFL Champion of the world. It is truly unfortunate that global expansion by the NFL (NFL Europa) failed miserably and American football will never receive consideration to become an Olympic sport. Honestly, is there no place for American football in the Olympics? I know I would prefer to watch badminton, synchronized swimming and archery….right. Although the Brazilian synchronized swimming twins should do wonders to increase their sports popularity.

If there cannot be a place for the entire sport, there must be a place for its individual athletes, right? I am sure we all remember Hershel Walker’s and Jeremy Bloom’s failed attempts. But to date has there ever been an NFL athlete who has competed and won a medal in the Olympics?

Just think how interesting it would be to see the following NFL athletes compete in the 2012 Summer Olympic Games:

Jason Taylor: Fencing. Did you see his footwork during Dancing with the Stars? Plus, just think about the wing span advantage he would have over his opponents.
Steve Smith: Boxing. Anthony Bright and Ken Lucas can attest to his boxing skills.
The Manning Brothers: Handball. Come on. You score by throwing a ball just smaller than a football through a goal.
Deangleo Hall: Track & Field. He runs a 4.15 40 yard dash.
Larry Allen: Weightlifting. Just watch him bench press 700 lbs.
Chris Cooley: Greco Roman Wrestling. He was an All-American wrestler in high school and the US undoubtedly needs a new face for wrestling to replace Rulon Gardner. Who better?

My point is that not only are we are missing out on watching some of the most elite athletes in the world compete, but they too are missing out on a great and patriotic opportunity to win a medal for their country. Don’t we need a little more excitement than Dara Torres?

Posted by Jake Stewart

Cooley/Earnhardt Jr. Part 2

If you happened to miss when Chris wrote about hanging with Jr. in Michigan you're in luck. NBC aired more of that interview tonight (I wonder how many of these gems they haved saved up).

Redskins Cheerleader Turns Redskin Wife

This is a post done for Yahoo yesterday. I took a couple pictures this week for fun and thought they turned out great. Obviously I made a great choice.

Christy stepped through my back door three July’s ago. She walked into the house like she had climbed out of a poster in my high-school bedroom. Past fashionably late, she had given me way too much time to sit and drink and I knew it would be hard not to make an ass out of myself. By the time I was face to face with my favorite Redskins Cheerleader all I could muster was a shrugged shoulder handshake.

It was a summer Saturday night and Christy was thinking about me. I would have never known what she had on her mind, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. She confessed that it wasn’t coincidence that brought her to the house and she was prepared. If looks were bait then I was hooked. She dressed to make men panic, but beyond that she was beautiful. Her smile was incredible and she had something terribly contagious in her eyes. Awkward glances and stares filled the room, and before the night ended I knew that I wanted more.

As a couple early on we were controversial, but entirely smooth. Rumors followed everywhere we went. Keeping a secret became hard when there wasn’t a secret to start. It turned out a picture of the two of us had been leaked to the Redskins. Christy was fired from cheerleading two weeksafter we started dating. Since her big paycheck ($75 dollars a game) had come to an end, at least the sneaking around was over.

As we moved through the season I fell in love with her. We went through a lot of weird stuff, but it never fazed either of us. Maybe her dad brainwashed me one of the nights I passed out at her house, because no matter what happened, I was crazy about her. More likely it was her mom, since I was usually trying to impress the old man by drinking him under the table.

It’s amazing that the last three years together have gone by so fast. I’m getting married this Friday evening. I asked Christy to be my wife nine months ago and I’m a lucky man she chose to be with me. I think she has learned being with a football player is harder than it looks. She is looked through countless times by surrounding football fans, and the funny thing is Christy should be getting the attention. Not to mention she has to put up with my terrible attitude five months out of the year. (Football season)

While I can’t wait to put the ring on I’ve had some resoundingly bad conversations over the last couple of months. Golf may have an uncountable list of ethics, though bothering a complete stranger about getting married is not one of them. First of all I’m excited for the big day, so please don’t feel sorry for me because marriage sucks for you. No I’m not nervous, I don’t want any marriage advice, and yes Christy’s mom is still hot.

From the moment Christy said “yes” the plans began. I have to admit I haven’t been the most avid planning participant, but one thing I was put in charge of was the seating. I’ll say this; it should at least be an interesting night. I’ve had calls from numerous wedding guests, most recently Dan Snyder’s assistant asking what table they could find their seats. Obviously my easiest seating solution, anywhere you can find a chair. I’m not trying to stick Dan with my drunken uncle, but drawing up all those name tags was way over my head.

I’m hoping for a huge night on Friday. We’ve paid for two open bars, and invited nothing short of an “animal house” cast of characters. Although I hope Clinton’s friends (Southeast Jerome) don’t crash the party. After our vows the only promise I will make is to not stuff the cake all over Christy’s face. The rest of the reception is free game. It will certainly be a night to remember.

Will owners opt out?

Rumors that NFL owners will choose to opt out of the Collective Bargaining Agreement set in March of 2006 seem to be coming true. That agreement set guidelines so that if either the owners or the players didn't like their position they would have the option of opting out of the contract. Several owners are suggesting their organizations have become "cash strapped" because of the current arrangement.

It is becoming clear that the disagreement has become prevalent within the "small-market" owners in the NFL. These owners have a problem with the current revenue sharing program where 60 percent of total revenue is given to the players. Owners complain that is too “one-sided.” It is boiling down to several owners thinking they deserve the right to all the money made by their team. It’s their investment right? I mean they put in all the money and all the work.

In the current labor agreement teams have a salary cap of 116 million dollars. If the owners do choose to opt out of the current agreement there is a possibility of an uncapped season in 2010 and no draft in 2011. This means that the teams electing to pay players less today are the same teams that wouldn't be able to afford high end free agents in an uncapped market. The funny thing here is, small-market owners are about to opt out of an agreement that would help their teams in the future. How much of a fighting chance do small-market teams have in 2011 of getting either top ranked college prospects with no draft, or legitimate free agents with no money?



It's unfortunate to me that there are owners who choose not to acknowledge why their team makes money. Two reasons: fans and players. Fans want to see great athletes compete. Fans don’t give a shit who is paying for the team, they just want a team. As a kid my idol was John Elway and the Broncos were my team. I watched closely as John led miraculous comebacks week after week. I cried when they won the Super Bowl. I could have rattled off the entire roster in numerical order yet one person that would not have come to mind, the owner. Taking this a step further, as a current NFL player, I couldn't rattle off more than 6 or 7 current owners.

What it all comes down to is money and the NFL is a money making machine. It has quickly become the most watched and talked about professional sport in America. Its popularity keeps fans entertained year round. Free-agency, the Combine, Draft Day, Mini-Camp, and Training Camp have become as exciting for some people as Game day. Fans can't get enough of their team and because of this revenue in the NFL has sky-rocketed. Yet owners don’t get their fair share?

From forbes.com:

The NFL is still the richest sports league in the world (the average team is worth $957 million, 7% more than last year) as well as the most profitable (mean operating income in 2006 was $17.8 million on $204 million in revenue).

The 2006 season marked the beginning of six-year contract extensions with the three major networks--a $3.7 billion deal with CBS, a $4.3 billion deal with Fox and a $3.6 billion deal with NBC--that award the NFL with an average of $2 billion a year until 2011.

Do the owners realize that in this profession only a very select group of people can do what we do? There are less than 2000 players on NFL rosters every year. This is my fifth year on the job and I can make one easy conclusion. It is extremely difficult to be great in the NFL. Fans pay to come out because they like to watch great players. The NFL is an enormous entertainment industry and the Players Union easily recognizes that. The Union doesn't feel like what we get isn’t fair, but that the money has been earned by the players.

In my personal opinion an owner should be someone who is truly proud of his team. They should be proud of their players. An NFL team should be more than an investment to its owners. Winning and losing should be more about pride than the money. Unfortunately, as we can sadly see by what is happening with this potential opt out is that owners care much more about the money than having a successful team.

Boogaard vs. Slice

I wouldn't pick a fight with either Derek Boogaard or Kimbo Slice. But picture this: Derek (playing tight end) taking a late hit from Kimbo (linebacker) and the retaliation that would follow. Talk about NFL fight of the year. I feel it would be similar to some of the kicking, stomping, and helmet smashing that occurs in the video below.

To read more on the subject check out The Cooley Zone over on Shutdown Corner and tell us what you think.

Poker Night

The personal anticipation of Saturday’s poker night had been building for months. I bought a new house and moved in November. When we decided what rooms would be what and started buying furniture it was made mandatory that a "Man Room" was created. Cigars, whiskey, and poker are prerequisites to entering the room. At least that was my great plan the day I moved in. Well if anyone is ordering furniture please know this. It will take a long damn time for it to get to your house. If you order an entire houseful of furniture it is going to take even longer. If the poker table is supposed to be there in a month just count on 8 to 10 weeks. Anyways, here we are in May and I finally get to host my first poker night. I was excited as hell.

Although I had been counting down the days until the big game I am not the greatest planner. While I knew there was going to be a poker night, no one else did. So there was some slight concerned when I began asking people on Friday afternoon what their plans were for the Saturday. Actually half my invites were made Saturday morning. Thankfully I have great friends and family and we had a full turnout. Actually more players than I expected showed up and we had to create an alternate poker room for the first half of the tournament.

I know the basics of poker; actually think I'm pretty good. Who doesn't? Really, I feel like I can play any card game and I'm upset if I don't win. The problem with coming up with all the rules for my own tournament was that I was completely over my head. Enter Ryan Boschetti. As far as I'm concerned he is the best gambler I know. I’ve never seen anyone win as at a casino as consistently as he does. He could realistically make his living gambling. We spent a weekend in Atlantic City last year and I saw Boss hit six different slot machines, each for thousands of dollars including a slot payout of $13,000 dollars on a penny machine. Not to mention wins at every single table game in the casino. Needless to say he would be my “rules guy” for the tournament.

Twelve players began the tournament on two tables. Unfortunately after drawing names I was deprived of starting in my own poker room and was forced to start at the dining table. Although it was the alternate room, whiskey and cigars were not only permitted, but enforced. Each player started with 2000 in poker chips (imaginary money) for no-limit Hold'em.

My mentality going into the first table was to just make it back into my beautiful new “man room”. I played conservatively knowing at least one or two people would bet themselves out early in the game. It only took 30 minutes until my table had broken down to four players.

I was playing like a champ, strangely staring off with a serene expressing trying to mask all the terrible hands I was getting. Early on it was a lot of two's and sevens, but I was hanging right in the chip count. My big hand finally hit; King/Queen of spades and I doubled the bet. I casually watched another King and two spades come out on the flop. Everyone went out but Tim, and me. Tim being the man I had already considered next to leave our table. As the cards played out, I not only knew Tim didn't have the hand I did, but felt he was bluffing. I offered him an early out telling him not to lie about his two shit cards (probably 9/3 off-suit). "Bluffing isn't lying," Tim chuckled. "I would never lie to you." So I rewarded his bluff with a sideways smile and confidently pushed all my chips into the heart of the table.

Tim's irresponsible play awarded me a spot in the coveted man room. After a brief whisky break, we sat down, raised the blinds, and resumed play. The hands started out very serious and I continued to draw garbage hands. I removed myself from the intensity of the game and sucked down a couple more drinks. Since I couldn't get a hand to stay in the game I had to fill my time some other way. At this point killing a drink wasn't uncommon for anyone left at the table. You would think that anyone who loved liqueur would use it sparingly in times like these. Inebriation takes the best out of any poker player.

My focus on the game began to slip. We now had the stereo out and singing had become a more popular event than poker. There’s no way to get a good read on someone's hand when the entire room is screaming the chorus of "Livin on a Prayer." It was amazing that the final table had wound down to four players and there was more concern for "Shot Through the Heart" than winning the cash.

It was 10 o’clock and I figured it was time to make my move or bounce. I drew my first two cards, a Jack/9. By this point in the night that seamed like the perfect go all-in before seeing anything else hand. I chose to belittle my concern when I found out the rest of the table wasn't scared of a conflict. Shoulda known better, but I was easily bounced from the game when Boschetti posted 3 tens.

At the end of the day 4th place was fine by me. I managed to hang out and watch the rest of the game, which lasted a whole ten minutes. Apparently everyone was ready to win or go home, but all in all the night was a blast.

In other news

Sorry that this is going to be another quick one. As I mentioned yesterday, I was a guest on Blog Show, enjoy.

Also, in case you missed the call in on EITM here is the clip. Please check out The Cooley Zone over on Shutdown Corner. I am having a blast writing those posts so I hope you enjoy reading them. We also got some new replithentic jerseys for sale in our store. There are only 50 and I will write anything you want on them.

Current Events

Sorry it’s been a while since my last post but with minicamp and OTA’s I haven’t had a lot of time to write. So I guess here are some of the things that have happened lately.

PTI talked about my last Yahoo post and I would like to say thanks for not talking too much shit about me on ESPN. I mean come on Tony, I make it to the pro bowl and the least I can get out of you is “a mid-round pick” with a load of sarcasm. Was that because you “hate” bloggers?

Speaking of blogger hating, I finally watched the Buzz blow up. Buzz, great job showing that you aren’t easily intimidated by us bloggers. If you don’t want the shit pissed out of you anymore, you better check out my writing. I wouldn’t want to “dumb down America” with any of my posts.

Also, I will be a guest on Blog Show tomorrow. Make sure to check it out. And finally, get ready for some good stuff over at Shutdown Corner this Wednesday morning. Thanks for reading.

Draft Day Q and A

Thanks again for all the great questions. I think I have more fun reading what everyone has to ask me than anyone else does reading my responses. It was pretty hard, but I picked ten of the questions to answer. I tried to stick with the draft type of questions.

1. Who was the first Redskin that befriended me after I was drafted and where did we have a beer at?
The first player I was really friends with was Brian Kozlowski and I guess he was as new to the team as me. We actually became great friends and drank at a lot of bars together. A couple of the first guys that had previously been on the Redskins to talk to me were LaVar Arrington and Patrick Ramsey. After my first day of practice Lavar came up to me and told me I was going to be a great football player. Obviously I was excited.

2. A new draftee just signed their first check. Where do they go?
I think the first thing most guys buy is a new car. It's amazing to me how much young players will spend on automobiles. Bling is another popular item. I bought a Volvo. I guess my check first wasn't that bad ass. Something no one understands about the NFL is that if a players signs a 10 million dollar deal the most he could hope to see is half of that. Teams pay out the money in portions. Say a player's signing bonus is 5 million. It will take at least three years for him to collect that money. It's guaranteed, but it's never all at once. Speaking for myself, taxes take close to 50 percent of my gross salary. Pretty shitty huh?

3. Fred Davis?
I think no more be said in the question. I was as surprised as anyone that the Redskins drafted a tight end this year. We saw Fred Davis as a first round player that had fallen way down into the second round. The Redskins felt like it was way to much value to pass on. As a player I feel like you can never discount having the best 11 guys on the field, so if two tight ends makes up the best 11 guys I'm all for it. I will do everything I can to help Fred become the best football player for the Redskins and I think he will do a great job. All that being said, I feel like the next five years should be Pro Bowl years for me and I would be extremely surprised if my production on the field goes down at all.

4. The Redskins obviously neglected the offensive and defensive line issues. Who will protect Jason Campbell?
It's really hard to expect anything going into a draft. Obviously we needed to add some depth to the lines and we are starting to do that. We did draft a guard who we feel can make an impact for us. We were looking at a defensive lineman in the first round, but didn't feel his value was high enough at the 21st spot. If you need a lineman but no one you like is close to your pick for that value, than you have to take someone else. As far as protecting Jason we have a couple guys coming back healthy (Jon Janson and Randy Thomas). I'm well aware that both have had injury issues, but you never assume great players on your team are going to be injured. We will keep adding depth, but we will be fine.

5. If I was to build my own draft guru what would his or her characteristics be?
I would take Mel Kiper's arrogant, know it all personality and put it into some really hot chick. The girl from the movie Transformers would be great. I would watch the draft all day. Really though, I think it would be hard to imagine any other draft guru besides Kiper.

6. A Punter?
I know really. A punter? Hopefully he can kick the shit out of the ball. I mean he did win the Ray Guy award.

7. Do I have any chance to voice my opinions in the draft?
Players are completely left in the dark when it comes to the draft. Other than showing up for practice and playing we have no voice in the organization. What do teams really care though? We could be gone in a day.

8. What is the weirdest thing you have read about yourself in draft profiles?
The funniest thing I think about the draft profiles is how much people actually make stuff up. When I was a rookie people said that I would be a good blocker and possession type receiver. That my downfall is I could never stretch the field. My current profile says that I'm a bad blocker, but I can catch the ball down field. No one knows what type of player someone can really become.

9. What was the funniest thing I have seen done to a rookie?
My first year in the NFL I watched some of the offensive lineman get a guy really good. First of all, it was a real fight for this to ever happen and if I was ever getting hazed I would just go with it. That said, it's a lot more fun for the "hazers" if they know the person getting hazed hates it. They taped up another rookie and rubbed Icy Hot all over his body. Someone even got a glove and rubbed it in his crack. After the Icy Hot they threw him in the ice tub. One of our trainers got him out after about 20 minutes. That would have really sucked.

10. What is more likely, Chris Cooley getting dreadlocks or Colt Brennon getting a fro.
I didn't know Colt Brennon had dreadlocks, but I can't stand dreadlocks. They're dirty, they stink and I think they look stupid. I thought the white man afro was awesome. I wish my hair would grow faster so I could have it back. I would recommend that look to anyone.

Open shop!

The store is now open. Please check it out. We are going to have more stuff in stock soon. Also make sure to check out the Yahoo post this week and tell us what you think. Thanks.