Reigniting a Rivalry

In my weekly appearance on 106.7 The Fan with Chad Dukes and LaVar Arrington I made some comments regarding Tony Romo. “It's amazing, amazing to watch him choke like that … there's no way that Detroit is gonna drive on you that many times. The only way you're gonna give up that many points is turnovers, right? It was hilarious to watch him throw pick-sixes, too, back to back. I loved it.” The conversation then turned to a hypothetical cage match between Romo and myself, which I insinuated that I would win because of my wrestling background. And now, a joking, lighthearted situation, which in my opinion, has received 15 times the 15 minutes of fame it deserved, warrants my response.

In a league full of glad-handing and ass slapping between competing teams, I actually care about the organization and fan base that has supported me throughout my 8-year career. While I feel an honest respect for all NFL players, I show no remorse in cheering against another team, especially the Cowboys. If it sounded like I was delighted by Tony Romo’s failure last week, I was. Though I have no personal vendetta toward Romo, my feelings for him had nothing to do with me reveling in a divisional foe blowing the biggest 2nd half lead in the history of its proud franchise. Now before the rivalry-igniting defense of my comments, I would like to state a couple of facts:

In a new age where professional athletes can “engage” with their fans like never before, it has become evident that the NFL is an entertainment-based business. Though players earn their worth on the football field, there’s not a player in the league unfamiliar with the media. And as a player who has decided to share my real personality with the fan base, I make a clear choice with expressing my political incorrectness as an entertaining attempt to engage as a real person. I will not apologize if my sense of humor and hint of sarcasm is difficult to ascertain by the more serious NFL supporters. I will never make an apology to any offended Dallas fans and I expect every Redskin fan to cheer at the folly of a Cowboy.

That said, after seeing the frenzy of peevish Cowboy fan banter over the past 24 hours I have to say that the peculiar defense of “America's quarterback” has completely blown me away. From genius talking heads like Skip Bayless and former Maryland great Norman Esiason to the bible thumping twitter bullies, it's very clear that a cult like group of Dallas supporters has emerged to stand in defense of the epic Tony Romo. To them, my tongue-and-cheek opinions scream sacrilege and idiocy. It’s a funny thing, the way simple lighthearted banter can change gears so quickly, but that’s part of the amazing world of sports fanatics. You don’t want me to be boring, but as soon as I’m entertaining I’m crossing a line. You can’t have it both ways.

Finally, those of you that responded on Twitter, you made this easy. Your clumsy charm and the outpouring of the appalling tweets has inspired me to feed the fire of an NFL rivalry that seems in need the more flame. Thank you for caring so much. I genuinely appreciate you making me the number 1 Google search yesterday. I’d like to give a special thanks to those fans who want to choke me out, burn my house down and not only see me endure career ending injury, but break my neck and die. Clearly football is important to you, you are the people who make the NFL what it is!

I’m aware at this point, that I could choose the high road, but a little pettiness makes for much more fun. Plus, I’m assuming if you tweeted you wouldn’t mind a response. I would have loved to spend more time with more responses because it really was fun, but I just picked a couple. Oh and Skip Bayless, I didn’t forget you. I just haven’t decided if I should hoot and holler on air or take the time to write something nice for you. If you have an opinion either way let me know.

For those of you opposed to profanity, I suggest stopping here:

@Krimm9 Chris Cooley is an absolute joke. He is the most overrated player at his position in FB. He should laugh at his career stats, that is funny!

Yea I’m laughing. 427 catches, 4,704 yards, and 33 touchdowns. I’m on my hands and knees.

@kreutzbag303 @thecooleyzone what have you ever done in your career that gives you the right to talk shit to Romo. You're a bum. Fred Davis owns you.

Google me bitch. Also, Fred Davis owns many nice things, but I am not one of them.

@youngnandobaby @thecooleyzone you talk so much shit yet you're garbage now. 2nd string TE struggling to get play time on a struggling offense. #JustRetire

“Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid.” I simply referenced my happiness for the outcome of a game. That isn’t “talking shit.”

@thetrovester who TF is chris cooley to rip on anyone? how many rings does he have again? Asshole

Hypocritical statement, but I will flip it just for fun. @thetrovester Who TF are you and how many rings do you have? Genius…

@AhadSRaza I hope you shatter your patella doing ballet with Colt Brennan.

Ahad, I’m extremely concerned with how much my comments bothered you. This definitely wasn’t you most offensive comment and by no means your most idiotic, but I didn’t want to waste more time for the people reading this. Thanks to you I punched the code on my home security system for first time in a long time.

@courtneymahia I want to punch Chris Cooley in his face for slandering Romo like that.

Definition of slander: A malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report. I’m pretty sure slander wasn’t quite the route I choose but I like your fight. If you’re gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough.

@zachbarton Have lost all my respect for Washington tight end @thecooleyzone. If you talk like a high school nothing that’s all you still are.

Zach, I’m guessing you got picked on a little bit in school. It’s ok, I’m sure you’re a real all-star now. Keep kickin’ ass buddy.

@chestos06 @thecooleyzone and if u are a real man, why challenge someone u out weigh by 40lbs. Be a man and go after Witten or DWare...chump!

Since your twitter picture is of a dog, I’m sure you’re not the worst person in the world. As far as the challenge, I currently weigh 232. The dude weighs 4 pounds less than me, Romo is listed at 228. The challenge seems fair to me. But in the world hypothetical cage matches, if I were “a real man” it probably wouldn’t be Witten I’d challenge; it’d be Brock Lesner.

@brad_hankins @thecooleyzone aka Chris Cooley is a little bitch. I’d fight that goofy dick sucker right now if I saw him

Seriously Brad, I guarantee you wouldn’t. I literally lock down a guarantee. You sounded tough for your friends though. So that’s cool.

@mitchinwitchita if u spent more time practicing than runnin' ur mouth, maybe u wouldn't be on the bench. #66yds #washedup#loser

Not quite sure if you’ve watched any games, but I’m not quite on the bench. I may be on your fantasy bench and that does break my heart a little bit, although it makes me smile that you care enough about me to look up my stats and respond to me.

@yimdawg chris cooley is an asshole.

Simple and to the point, I like it. Many of my friends concur with this.

@srobinson3708 @thecooleyzone what? Are you crying again coozie?

Pretty sure I wasn’t crying. Did you hear what I said or did you just jump at the chance to throw “coozie,” around all willy-nilly on twitter? And I know you’re not looking for any advice, but Penthouse Forum isn’t a solid substitute for a good old thesaurus.

@A_PFL_Nigga CHRIS COOLEY IS A BITCH ASS NIGGA!!!

Wow! I thought “coozie” was getting thrown around willy-nilly.

@everlastingxxx You are not worthy to swallow Wittens jizz.

I’m not quite sure what qualifications you need to become worthy? Explain what you had to do to acquire your status?

Ok, so you get it. The responses are getting more and more offensive and I will stop here. If you did send something I ensure you that I saw it. Thanks again and tomorrow should be fun Skippy.

Fans Take on Canton

The Trip to Canton

Even as a Guru of the bigs, I had not been to the NFL Hall of Fame. Nestled in a small city in Ohio about 4 hours away, the idea of a trip to see the legends of the game enshrined on one building was too much to pass up. And even though some people believe it is just a hallway named the Hall of Fame, I wanted to see for myself. A couple of my friends and I packed up some memorabilia, permanent markers, and a couple jerseys and headed northwest towards Canton. This past weekend six players were enshrined, three of which were from Washington, my city of football. And when half the inductees are Redskins, it's time to head to Canton.

Arriving Sunday around 1pm, we decided to head into the Hall to take in what has manifested into such a rich collection of memorabilia, stories, and multimedia commemorating a sport that America loves. And apparently to take all this in requires a small fee of $18. Wristband aside, I was spellbound at how this small building (from the outside) was able to hold over 150 years of football. We milled around at the start of the museum looking at each NFL team set-up with a authentic helmet and a small poster behind it commemorating each team. As exciting as that sounds, let's keep walking.

Moving on, we entered into the "head" room, where all the enshrined players, well are enshrined in golden metallic busts of them, most of which look nothing like them. Obviously, I wouldn't know everyone one, but seeing the greatest players who played the game that I love was breath-taking. Baugh, Tarkenton, Smith, Payton, Unitas, Young, Aikman, Ditka, Madden, just amazing to see these men, enshrined as if they were in front of you. Then there were rooms where you could pick different players and watch clips of them, and them talking. One screen held Unitas, Payton, and Baugh which I watched. The fact that they talked about their playing and now they are now dead gave me goosebumps, and reminded me of what these men had done for the game of football. After watching a short film and snapping some photos in front of the Lombardi Trophy, it was time to leave.

But yet, there was a football game going on that evening, that we had tickets for (what a plot twist!!!). Redskins hosted the Colts at Fawcett Stadium, home to several high school and collegiate teams. Holding around 24,000 and change, we had tickets first row by the endzone. Great seats, and even though it was a pre-season contest, it was still football. I decided to get some autographs, and even though names like Harrison and Manning were not in attendance, it bothered me little as my eye was on the Big 4 7. Chris Cooley, my favorite player for the Redskins, did not emerge until middle way through the warm up period. But the way the crowd reacted seeing the figure that resembled a lumberjack was phenomenal. Walking out of the tunnel, the 6'3" 240lb TE out of Utah State was greeted with a loud thunderous applause and his trademark Cooley chant. "They're not booing him, they're saying Coooooooollleyyyy." He waved to the fans indicating he would be over to chat and sign some memorabilia. But what was funny was that fans weren't the only ones trying to get memorabilia signed. Cooley, unknown to almost all fans except my friends and I, was carrying a small holder of playing cards to get signed. Very funny and entertaining to us, and in the slim case that you are reading this Cooley, I need one of those eBay paintings!! Cooley went through some stretches and warmed up, then turning towards the fans. As he walked past I screamed, "Cooley!!" He turned to me and waved, absolutely making my day at the game and walked to the larger portion of fans. I gave chase and around 5 minutes later had my ticket stub signed. Many other fans (30-40) also got his autograph, most likely dwarfing any other player's number of signatures easily.

And I think that's what draws people to Cooley. He's a regular guy, who just happens to catch any ball in his area and make the Pro Bowl. Even him talking to the fans was as if it was any other conversation to him. That's what makes him a NFL player that any fan can appreciate. And by the way, my signed ticket will not be under eBay listings. Adding onto that, Cooley had 2 catches during the game, for right around 10-15 yds.

And if the trip could not get any memorable to me, there was a moment that will stick in my mind for a very long time. During the pre-game warm ups, there was a program on the screens about the Redskins' season last year. The subject of Sean Taylor soon took over the screen, and the whole stadium with it. I commented to my friend that during this time would be the quietest the stadium would be the entire game there. If the screen had been muted, there would have been sheer silence. Looking across the field I noticed that many players were not moving, but glued to the screen that the fans were watching. Portis, Cooley, and others were near the 50-yd line still watching the presentation. Many of them were on the screen talking about the passing of Taylor, most of whom were choked up in the clips shown on the screen, which in turn was affecting them watching it. Daniel Snyder, owner of the Redskins, was also on the field watching this. A photograph came onto the screen with audio of Snyder talking about Sean Taylor. The photo was of Taylor giving a fist- pound to Snyder during the pre-game last year. For those who have never been to Fed-Ex Field, when the Redskins run out past Snyder, they slap his hand. The photo reminded me of the painting of God reaching out with one finger to touch "mankind." It shook me up, and as I looked at Snyder's reaction, it worsened the affect on me. Snyder slowly put a finger behind his dark sunglasses and wiped away a tear, taking a deep breath and slowly shaking his head. Sure this game is also a business, but what I saw proved that there is still a human side to the game, and that even though there are constant stories of teams bickering with each other, there is still a feeling of family and love shared amongst the players, and hopefully money will never take that away. They hadn't just lost a Pro Bowl player, they hadn't just lost a teammate, but a friend, a member of their family.

The game was great (Redskins 30-16) and I was thoroughly impressed with Colt Brennan, who not only acknowledged fans several times, but just was absolutely on point for the Redskins while in the game. Second string maybe? We'll have to see. I was also impressed with other rookies in the game, and I must say that with some off-season acquisitions the Redskins are contenders to make the playoffs again this season.

We got back into town around 2:30-3:00a.m., and even though I was tired, it was one of the best days of summer for me. Recap: (1) I experienced the Hall of Fame (2) I was able to be acknowledged by Chris Cooley, Jason Taylor, Tony Dungy and got Cooley to personally sign my ticket (3) The Redskins won (4) I got a taste of what this season for the Redskins will be like (winning). See you around like a donut. - The Guru