20 Questions Part 2 ~ The Official Blog of Chris Cooley

1. You are being executed tomorrow, what's your last meal?

I would go to Resturante Bonaroti in Vienna. It doesn't even matter what I order, I would just have Sergio (the owner) bring the works and I would eat till I die.

2. What's your favorite movie made by those early 90's SNL guys?

Tommy Boy is a classic.

3. What are your plans (realistically) after you retire from the playing?

I would like to take a couple years and just hang out, I think that would be awesome. I want to have a kid and I think it would be great to be able to be home all the time with my family. Besides that, I've always wanted to be a high school wrestling coach. Wrestling was always a favorite sport of mine and I remember how great it was spending time with the team. So that is something I can see myself doing.

4. In the off season do you enjoy staying in the Washington DC area, or do you want to get out of town for a month or two? Where do you go?

I live in Leesburg VA. I think everyone saw our house on the news. I love Virginia and really anywhere else around D.C. The people are great here and I have no reason to live anywhere else. We do take a vacation every off season but the only one I want to make a tradition is Hawaii.

5. What is the weirdest or coolest dream you've ever had?

I think I had the craziest dream of my life last week in the hotel before we played the Giants. I was going house shopping with my dad and we walked into a giant house in a quiet neighborhood. When we went inside, all the walls had been ripped out and there was a rock band building a enormous stage for a concert. Under the wood part of the stage they were putting down a six inch foundation of cooked sausage. The funny thing was that they couldn't get the wood to stay together on top of the sausage. At one point they had to rip down all the work they had done and start over. After the stage fell apart they assigned me over a giant machine that was making pigs into ground sausage. After I ground it up, it went along a conveyor belt where my dad was cooking it. Then I woke up, weird.

6. What TV show or movie would you be ashamed to admit you like?

I'm not ashamed of this, but I've seen every season of One Tree Hill. You gotta love Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer.

7. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?

For one year I would like to live like Chris McCandless in America. I know it sounds crazy, but to just respect the beauty of our country with nothing in your pocket would be amazing. Adventure is the very basic core of man's spirit. I'm not saying I would give away all my savings like he did, but his adventure was amazing.

8. For a million dollars would you be willing to not have sex for a year (this is with or without a partner)? (If no, how about 10 million)?

I would have to turn down a million for the no sex thing (Christy would be pissed). Offer me ten million and Fred Davis might have a new job.

9. If you had a son would you let him be a dancer or cheerleader?

If I have a son I will support whatever he wants to do. I'm not gonna pretend that I'm ready to spend my Saturdays at dancing competitions, but you have to accept life as it comes.

10. Where did you and Christy go on your first date?

Christy and I went to the Fair Oaks Mall for our first "real date."

11. Chris: I'm a firm believer that you can tell a lot about someone based on what they get on their burrito. Sooo, what is your favorite Chipotle creation?

I'm more of an Anita's guy myself and you can never go wrong with a Hollenback.

12. What do you do with Christy on dates? I say you do the same as I and every other guy.

I'm sure Christy and I go on exactly the same type of dates as anyone else. Dinner is very popular, we usually plan for a movie, but get too tired. We hang out at the house a lot. The one thing we do probably more than most is spend A LOT of time traveling in the off season.

13. If Mike DItka and God got in a fight, who would win?

Seriously, God would win. Chuck Norris on the other hand...

14. If you were a porn star what would your porn name be?

The porn star name rules are as applies: Your first dogs name is your first name and the street you grew up on is your last. Mine is Ryder Lane.

15. What is the best locker room prank you have ever witnessed in your entire career as a football player?

Every year in college we played at least one good prank on a senior that was on his way out. We would wait until the last week of practice (no chance for retaliation). My junior year was by far the most elaborate. The target, a 6'10" offensive lineman named Jim Newton. His locker was right next to me and it took me three weeks to scope out is locker combination. When I secured to combo the plan was on. In Logan we had this great carp fishing spot. A canal would get shut off in the winter and we could walk to the end of the canal were the last of the water would back up. As well as the water backing up, all the fish would get stuck and you could just go in with big hooks and snag them. So we took a couple coolers full of water and caught a bunch of carp and catfish, kept them alive and headed back to the locker room. When we got to Jim's locker I opened it up and we went to work. The bottom half of the locker was like a box on the ground for shoes. We took out all the shoes and lined it with black plastic and then filled it up with water, emptying all the live as well creating an amazing live fish tank in the locker. Needless to say, Jim was mad.

16. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon growing up?

My favorite cartoon growing up was always Scooby Doo. I would watch the shit out of that show. My mom used to buy the Nila Wafers and when Scooby came on she brought them in with milk and said they were Scooby Snacks.

17. How cool is it to be an upper echelon player in the NFL?

As a kid I always dreamed about playing in the NFL. As I got older it became less likely. I started high-school at 130 pounds and played back up receiver. I didn't start on my varsity team until I was a senior and when the year began I was supposed to split series at tight end with a junior. That quickly ended and I had a pretty awesome senior season. Utah State University in Logan UT. was my only division 1 scholarship offer and I took it. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but the Aggies don't just turn out NFL draft picks. I wasn't a starter until my senior season and just like in high school, I ended up having an awesome senior season. Joe Gibbs drafted me and there was no waiting to be the starter. Something I will always remember was my best friend Kris calling me a night before we played the Eagles and telling me I was going to be the best tight end in the NFL. It's not like Kris was Mel Kiper, but it meant so much to me and is something I will never forget. Now, after all that said and I think it needed to be said for this answer, it's a dream. It's a dream, and it's amazing to be where I am and I have never took it for granted.

18. How do professional athletes get paid? Do you pick up your game check every week? Is it a direct deposit?

I have no problem discussing the pay thing as a NFL player. If you want to know how much I or any of my friends make google will give you a pretty good idea in about 30 seconds. In my recent contract I got paid my signing bonus over three years, the last part being this April. I get paid my season salary every year over the 17 weeks that we play football. Every other Friday I pick up a check from Redskins park and I take it to the bank and fill out a deposit form. All the guys do the same thing.

19. Whats your handicap and do you use hybrids?

My handicap varies throughout the year. My golf season usually begins sometime in March when the weather warms up. I don't play unless it's 50 or warmer, golfs no fun in the cold. Anyway, when I start early in the year I'm around a 12. As the summer goes on I get much more consistent and by July I never shoot much worse than an 80. I think I could be a great golfer when I get done with football, but when training camp starts I have to quit playing.

20. Does it irritate players when a fan refers to his favorite team as "we"

"We" are the fan's team. That's why we are here playing football. I think it's great to have loyal fans that feel like we are their team. The only time guys get tired of the "we" thing is when fans tell us what we should and shouldn't be doing on the field. There is a reason that fans are fans. My job is to play tight end and yours is to cheer loud. To be the best "we" all gotta play our roles.

21. I heard Chris Carter say, "...over 50% of all players carry handguns." Do you own or carry handguns? Do you believe that over 50% of your peers are gun toting thug wannabies with above the law attitudes? Do you go anywhere that makes you think you need to have a gun with you?

Chris Carter is exaggerating for effect. There is no where near 50% of players that carry handguns. I don't even own a handgun. I do own a shotgun, one that I bought at Kmart when I was 15 years old...for pheasant hunting, but I don't think it'll fit in my waist band. Seriously though, I don't know any of my teammates that tote a handgun anywhere. I guess they could, but if it was more than a couple guys I would be aware of it. 50% is crazy! I think it's a reach to think of more than three or four on a team that really would carry around a gun. Finally, there is nowhere I have ever been that I wished I had a handgun. I know the streets of Leesburg can get pretty rough, but I'm still making it.

There will be more but this is all for now.