Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Cooley Shorts

I'm excited to be through with the first practice of what will prove to be a terrifically terrible month in my life. I honestly don't think I'm going out on a limb here by saying guys hate two-a-days, but it's nice to have a small outlet to gripe. I think I share the same feelings as all the players when I'm standing on the sideline sweating my balls off, daydreaming about the "Click" remote to skip me through time. With that said, I will try to play media friendly guy and focus on some of the positive events of the opening hours.

- The fans were great at practice today, as always, but it makes coming to work much more enjoyable when 10,000 people are cheering for you. On a normal day of work I may catch a ball and get a high-five or two, but today I heard hundreds of Cooooooley chants, you just cant beat that. I don't see why every practice can't be open to the public during camp - it's not like we're giving away our game plan for the first couple preseason games.

- Jason Campbell is on top of his game. No questions asked he is the leader in our huddle. I spent five days in the last two weeks throwing with him at Redskin's Park and he is in outstanding shape. Obviously, he dealt with tons of crap, but the media needs to find something better to talk about. Jason is over it and ready to win games. Enough said.

- The highlight of my day was the Cooley shorts. Last night the team held the opening meeting which is the basic introduction to work talk. Trainers come and discuss hydration, personal conduct is always a mention, we even covered how a conversation should go with a police officer when a player gets pulled over. You know, the really tough things in life. From there the meeting went on to cover our dealings with the media, which is where Z gave what I considered the quote of the night.

"You know what they say about the media, just use the five B's. Be brief brother, be brief."
Who doesn't know about the five B's, that's an old stand by. He even asked me about the possible public humiliation of running a blog. All I could do was mention that we now have proper editing procedures.

Zorn then delved into the rules. First rule involving dress code and guys having to wear team colors to practice, as well as proper cuts of the rules. As he was saying this he was wearing his new fashioned Redskin practice pants. He took them off revealing that no one would be cutting off their own sweats, but we would have a seamstress. As Z stood proudly, in his perfectly trimmed sweat shorts, he turned to me and says that we will even have an option for a shorter cut. Z then removed the shorts 99 percent of the team would be wearing and showed off the Cooley cut to a room full of cheers and laughter. Now, everyone thinks this is funny, but I was ecstatic to know that not only was I going to be allowed to wear my shorts, but it was encouraged by the main man.As for how they worked out - I liked them, but I'm pretty sure when I crouch down my junk is hanging out the side. I mean, I have spandex shorts underneath, but I will be fairly conscious when the Washington Post camera people get up close and personal.

Facebook Comments


Nice update chris, will we be able to get a pair in the team store?

Side Note: hopefully back to normal with these responses now...

Thanks Cool for the updates....i'm a redskins stalker who now lives in NC but grew up in Leesburg. Glad to hear your tone when concerning Jason Campbell. Thats what we need. Enjoy two-a-days, always a b*tch!

Don't you kids wear jock straps any more ;)

In the case of Chris, shouldn't we worried about "pubic" humiliation rather than "public" humiliation?

my boyfriend said he saw you today and was fanning you with is seat cushion that he wanted you to sign. did you purposely ignore him or what. he's not heartbroken, don't worry we still love you. i just thought it would be funny if you weren't signing it on purpose. back in the day he actually took pictures for the redskins and talked to you a couple times. anyways keep up the good work and sorry that im stuck in a lame office and can't come watch you practice.

Chris, I am a huge Redskins fan, although today I was very disappointed in how the team treated their fans. I was very surprised that many of your teammates chose not to autograph during training camp. Although I was not someone who received your autograph today, I would like to thank you for dedicating your time to the fans it was greatly appreciated! I would love to receive your autograph in the future! I am planning on coming back for Fan Appreciation Day, I hope to meet you and see greater fan appreciation from your teammates.

I know it is hot as heck out there! I don't envy you at this point at all! Glad to hear Jason is focused, I am really rooting for him to be great and shut everyone up this year! I am just happy Football is back again! I plan on being at the Panther game when you guys come to Carolina! I hope you guys spank em good!

Awesome video and photos Tanner! Can't wait for the season to begin! HTTRS! guy is a professional football player. Although he blogs, he still has no idea who reads his blogs. Nor should he. I enjoy reading his blog b/c he talks junk & shows portion of his personal life to u. Take him out of the equation, u'd b stuck w/ Portis dressing like a drag queen once a week talkin bs. Be glad he at least does this

Wow, its finally starting. Nice shorts bro, I didnt know Johnny Stockten played football with his nutters. Go Skins, and Pokes from Wyoming...Chris you have to keep bringing those J Wit......Dog and Toni Romoooooooo clips and I can't stop laughing. Nice job.

hey chris, thanks for answering that question. it cleared some things up....AND to ALL the Dallas fans, Cooley is a good teammate, someone who stands by their teammate when they go through all that crap. Cooley could not have said it any better.


btw, nice music video....I love about the shorts!!!

Yo Cooley, I've never been a redskins fan...grew up in Sacramento and live in Seattle now, but I gotta tell you, your blog is great! The Romo video is CLASSIC...I hate the Cowboys as much as you do! I'll be rooting for the 'skins from now on as long as you're not playing Seattle...keep up the good work!

Where do I get those shorts? Well, not those actual shorts...but one's more the length that Colt had on? Did they start out as sweatpants?

what is the name of this song?

yo auburn beat it with your advertising, craps annoying.

on topic, I'm sure the players were losing it when Z Man busted the short shorts out. I really hope that in year 2 with Zorn that Campbell and the rest of this team can really take a couple steps forward. Tired of this whack, sputtering offense. 2nd half of last season was putrid, 3 and out, 3 and out....anyways, HTTR!!!!

So now it's legit to show off the man-thighs? Well done. This can only mean good things for this coming season!

Chris, it's nice to see someone wear shorts the proper length nowadays! And see what you can do about getting Colt to come over to the dark side too. His shorts as long as capris are killing me!

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