Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Zorn Necklace

We lost to the New York Giant on Sunday November 30th.  The game had major playoff implications and walking through the locker room the team was furious, but as we came together Jim Zorn was livid.  I'd seen coach get hot on the sideline, except that was nothing to compare to this.   He was like a dad ready to all of his little kids asses and watch us sob in the corner. "This is gonna hurt me so much more than it hurts you."

Oddly enough I was having a problem living in that same moment.  Yea, I was devastated and the thought of the spanking wasn't so great, but as I tried to stare into his eyes I couldn't distract my attention from what was around his neck.  It looked like a boondoggle that a third grader would have made, eccentricly braided together and full of different colors.  It was a smiling train wreck staring me down in the middle of defeat.  No matter what I did my eyes did not deviate from that necklace and as I made my trip home I kept wondering why the hell he had that crazy thing around his neck.

Throughout the rest of the season I would notice that Zorn always had one of these necklaces on, meetings or practice it was there.  I really hadn't asked him about it as I was well aware that he has some uncommon ideas going on in his head.   

"Click" remote control to the end of the season...  ...The day after the last game is always a team meeting. Much yearbook signing day at the end of my sophomore year of high school where you really don't need to be there, but the last day wrap up has been made madatory.  We meet as a team, but it's for about five minutes and then for some reason guys seem to loiter about like there is something waiting for them.

I was bullshitting with a couple guys about an hour after the meeting, kind of sharing off season plans and was surprised by a light tap on my shoulder.  It was a short dark haired woman I've never seen before and at first thought I figured I had just gotten in her way.  There's always different people doing business around Redskins Park and they usually leave the players alone, but she wanted to talk to me.  As I turned to look down at her I see one of Z-man's crazy necklaces in her hand.    We started talking and she begins to explain why Z is wearing one of these necklaces.  While she is doing this Z himself walks into the middle of the conversation, bandwaggoning the necklace lady as well as heightening my attention level.
She went into thorough detail about the body balancing titanium in the Phiten necklaces and how much this can help not only working out, but on the field.   With Zorn there she continued talking about all the different Phiten items that would be able to help me out.  There were T-shirts, calf sleeves and wrist bands that she had brought to the Park.  So before I knew it I had my new necklace around on and a bag of all kinds of Phiten shit to try out, as well the full scoop about the benefits and possibilities of Phiten.  

So we'll see where this takes me.  The necklace hasn't come off for the last two weeks and I'm not sure if I'm more balanced, but it is pretty damn cool.  I have worked out a couple times, but after deciding to write about the Z necklace I'm inclined to begin scientific research to find out if it really works.  Should be interesting. 

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