Monday, February 23, 2009

Man O War

UWC is awesome on TV, as far as being at a sporting event in person, this one is the shit. Tanner arranged 10 tickets in the VIP area on the floor, so me and the hockey guys made it out to the Patriot center. T feels big time for putting the night together and says to me last night "I brought the biggest football player in DC and the best hockey player in the world to the same event! Together!" He sorta has an in, but kind of a big deal for a Utah kid.

I do have to admit, it was cool as hell to sit and watch the fight with Ovechkin, Mike Green, Backstrom and Brashear. I was even trying to talk them into a little exhibition fight before everything got going. Well, everyone but Brashear, he would probably dominate me. I mean, I think I would be good if I could wrestle him down, but I really don't want him to punch me in the face.

So the whole night was cool as hell, I actually had to drive myself, which was a bummer because Kenny Powers says celebrities have their own drivers and it's stupid if they show up by themselves. I was even lamer in Kenny's book when I had to stand outside in the freezing cold for 25 minutes waiting for the limo to show up. When the limo guy says six minutes till he gets there, it means nothing. Dude's probably lost and hoping to sound good. Speaking of limo guys, why the hell aren't they better drivers. It seems like every time I take a limo the guy fucks up somehow and I end up spending double the time in the car as I would have driving myself. Really, limo guys, why cant you have a better game plan? "I'm a goddamn American icon, figure out the route!"
So after my limo greeting job we made it down to the seats. The seats ten feet from the cage! At that point before the show started I made my biggest mistake, the UWC guys asked me and the Caps if we would go up in the cage and do an interview. Although the interview went fine, I may as well have put on a purple dinosaur costume and carried around one of the bikini, round card holding girls around on my shoulder, because fitting into the crowd was no longer an option. In a way I was stoked that I did get crazy cheers in the ring and a ton of "Cooley" chants, but after I sat down the photograph/autograph bombardment was on. I telling you right now, it was on. I'm probably blowing up Facebook albums, because there is no way I took less than 300 pictures. I do have a new favorite fan encounter though. It goes something like this "Just shake my hand! Cooley! Just a fucking handshake! Please! Cooley! I'll just wait, whenever your ready. Just a handshake."

Ok, so I know I'm starting to sound like a bitch, I could have just went Ovi style. Straight face, don't mess with my shit, there is absolutely no way I'm turning my head and smiling for your picture. I just almost feel guilty, every one's so excited.Once we got into the fights everything pretty much settled down. There were some pretty bad ass highlights. The third fight was a girl fight, which was awesome! The ugly girl got here face swollen all up and the hot one got her red panties pressed up against the cage the whole time. Bomb! I saw three different guys get knocked completely out, knees to the face, elbows to the head, the whole works. Those fighters have to be completely crazy to think that's a fun time. I guess if you figure you can kick ass every time it might be pretty cool, but taking so many violent blows to the face and head cannot be very good for quality of life.
So again, thanks Tanner for setting everything up. I want to thank the UWC guys and Brian Bishop for having us, it was a great time. I can't wait till it comes back.

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