Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Guru: Christmas Wish List

10. Snow - Let's stick to the program here. The last x number of Christmases have been marked by 40+ degree weather, and even some rain and clear skies. Christmas is incomplete without powder, having Frosty parked in front of your house while you are unwrapping gifts and munching on a feast of turkey, stuffing, and egg nog. Let's have 5 inches this year- I feel like sledding.

9. Several boxes of hobby-style football cards - Now, just like CC, I enjoy shredding packs whether in a small card shop downtown or in the comfort of my own home. My favorite card brands are Donruss Elite, Press Pass Signature Edition, and (old school) Action Packed. I am most noted for shredding two packs, getting no inserts and buying the rest of the box. Receiving boxes would solve this problem. All Redskin cards would be saved for future signature opportunities.

8. A Chris Cooley Revolution Helmet - It's no secret around the NFL, Cooley's top is probably the toughest looking by far. I don't know if I could lower it to the position of a coffee table ornament. In fact, I would most likely wear the thing to class one or two days and rock it on game days. The fact that Chris smashed two of them to hell during a couple of the games is just mind-blowing to me. I think a smashed one might be better than the regular one.

7. A new business suit - Hey, it can't all be football. The thing is, I am set to graduate in May (hopefully), and I will need something snazzy to impress potential employers. That being said, it shouldn't come down to my dapper apparel, but appearance is everything. I'm already stunningly handsome, just need the suit to go with it. Maybe I will find some way to incorporate Redskin colors into the suit, or I will just apply to the Redskin office for a job. Hmmm..

6. An iPhone - My provider sucks, my phone sucks, something has to give. I get several emails from different people that say "Sent from my iPhone" I think that's pretty insane, and it has peeked my curiosity on the subject. You always want to be technically savvy. If not, just give me one of those early 90's cell phone that Zack Morris had on Saved by the Bell.

5. T.O.'s voice - Yes, you heard me. Just think, if I had T.O.'s voice then he wouldn't, and we wouldn't have to hear him talk from his ass about his relationship with (-----) . ESPN loves this MTV drama nonsense, and not many people like watching it or hearing about it. So when he was talking to Stephen A. about the whole unnecessary drama, and he was smiling say it was all fabricated by Ed Werder, Sorry, I don't believe him. Even talking about the Boys makes me ill, and I don't want to toss up my egg nog.

4. A signed game-worn CC47 jersey - He can pick the game, the jersey, the ink color, but one framed to add to my wall is a must. I think it is any fan's dream of getting his favorite player's game worn battle gear and getting it inked up. Some of the ones on the CC47 Shop are intense, and just highlight how much effort Chris gives each game. These are a little bit pricey, so hopefully ole man Kringle can come expand the budget (even with the economy) and come through for me. If not, put a couple jersey cards of 47 in those card boxes.

3. The Redskins to win out - Even though things in the second part of the season have not went our way, the players are working their asses off. Seeing the last two games as W's in the column is what I really want to see. And I think every Redskin fan does. It's good to finish strong, just like how we started. And if the Redskins beat the Eagles, my red-headed friend has to dye his hair jet-black. So let's keep that in mind.

2. Season tickets for the 2009 Season - Hey, I can wish can't I? The thing is, even though I enjoy going with my friends and their families or wearing the 47 while watching in my room, the 2009 season would be totally complete with a pair of seats somewhere in the stadium. Yes, I would accept on top of the flagpole. Or maybe I could work something out for a Guru Executive Suite, right next to Mr. Snyder with a big sign alerting to the suite and my signature above it. Back to reality, I expect to make the last home game this season and hopefully numerous next season.

1. A Redskin cheerleader - Speaking of wishing, this makes my number one wish to Santa. If you try and argue with me about this, then make sure you still have a pulse. Yes, all I want for Christmas is a Redskin cheerleader. God bless America. When I am at the home games, I feel like they are all looking at me. For those of you at the games feeling like they are all looking up at the higher level, you are correct in your assumptions. They are looking at section 450.

Needless to say, Santa has his hands full with this list. Hopefully he takes the list one at a time- starting with #3. Let's finish strong!!!

Hail to the Redskins

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