CB 5: Life with Jason Taylor

This post is a lot like that TV show on MTV. The one where they say, “You think you know…but you have no idea” and in this case, you have no idea. My name is Colt Brennan. I'm a 6th round rookie QB, grew up in So Cal, played college ball in Hawaii, so I’d say I am a pretty laid back kind of guy. I wonder if they took that into consideration when they decided to issue lockers? Considering they saw fit to put me between Chris Cooley and Jason Taylor. At first you may think, "what an awesome experience," I get to be between two pro bowlers, potential hall of famers, dancers. Every day. For the next 5 months. What dream right? More like what a nightmare.

Chris (considering this will be posted on your blog) you’re a cool guy and it’s been pretty fun easing my way into the NFL watching you on a day-to-day basis. You make everyday a little different. But you’ve also made everyday for me a nightmare...

It all started when Jason decided to be tough guy on me one day, warning if I ever got in his way, or touched any of his stuff he would, "beat my ass.” Following this encounter something happened that soon became an everyday event. At first it was funny, but it eventually became a huge pain in my ass. Whenever Chris got his chance, he would do something. For example: he would take a fresh pair of Jason’s Jordan’s (probably sent directly by Michael Jordan) and hide them in my locker. Or maybe take all my dirty laundry and stack it high in front of Jason’s locker. Or better yet, being the great artist Chris is, he drew cartoons (depicting Jason doing… things not meant for children) and taped them on Jason's locker. In the end, who got blamed for it all? I did. Some stuff he probably actually believed was me, and some stuff he knew that I had played no part in any of it yet still tried to give me the blame. Why? Because he started to gain a lot of enjoyment by seeing me in agony.

Chris then started to lose interest, and he wouldn’t try so hard to implicate me into screwing with Jason, yet things kept happening. Like stolen shoes and computer print outs (that didn’t make Jason look so manly) and Jason began retaliating. All of the sudden I’d find my clothes and stuff piled far from my locker in the middle of the room. I began coming to my locker and seeing white tape out lining the boundaries where I was allowed to go (of course the space was not even reasonable), but that didn’t matter. At this point I suspected that Jason was actually messing with his own stuff just to find reason, to mess with me. Like wrapping my helmet up in tape or dismantling it, just to be a pain. Perhaps his best feat was lacing my helmet and visor with Vaseline, which meant I spent the practice in a slippery helmet and no visor, because I couldn’t see out of it (the Vaseline took forever to wipe off).

So thus, this has been my life for the past couple months, and I’ve come to realize what I am this year, and what maybe a lot of rookies are across the league. I’m their pawn, which they maneuver for their pure enjoyment! But don’t worry all you people out there, this past week, I cut Jason’s shoelace on his custom Jordan cleats. I did it discretely, so when Jason put his cleats on Friday and made his way to the practice field, he leaned down to tighten his shoe, he pulled tight, and. POP! There went his shoelace. They [equipment staff] had to run and get some new shoes for him to wear at practice that day, and at first he thought it was just a random occurrence. Well when he finally looked around and saw an out of the ordinary number of eyes watching and smiling, he knew something was up. He Blamed Chris!!

Posted in: Colt Brennan, Jason Taylor, Washington Redskins