FP: Coping With A Redskin Loss

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Redskins lost to the Giants…I know it sucks, I feel your pain. But, it was the 1st game of the season, it was the Giants and it was in New York. Sure it would be nice to get a win there, but 1 game does not make a season. As a fan that can remember games back to the 81’ season, I’ve suffered thru 213 losses…that’s a lifetime of heartbreak. However, the key is learning how to deal with the loss and recognizing certain symptoms that come from the losing. You may be suffering from some of the conditions that I’m going to discuss in this post…the first step is admitting you have the problem. Ladies and gentleman, the stages of a Redskin’s loss.

DAY 1 (Game day)

Disbelief – During this stage you take a few moments to review your thoughts. You say things like “we didn’t just lose, did we?” “WTF happened on that WR option play with Randle El?” “Are we really the only team in the division without a win?”

Anger – Oh yeah, your pissed now. You text, email or call everyone in your cell phone that will listen to you, even the ones who won’t listen to you! You say things you really don’t mean, things like “Portis is over the hill, put in Mason” or “F Campbell, sign Garcia or Jeff George” and “We’ll never win under Zorn, I want Shanahan.”
Your wife/girlfriend asks you “what do you care it’s only a football game” you reply something really stupid like “I’ve loved them longer than I’ve loved you.” This will haunt you a lot longer than the loss to the Giants!

Numbness – After you’ve gone thru your Rolodex and contacted everyone you can, you sit in your Lazy-boy and drink and eat everything in the house. You barely speak, in fact you're only forms of communications at this point are mumbling and grunting (maybe an occasional fart, your wife/girlfriend is really happy with you at this point.) The day ends with you passing out in your lucky jersey (which is no longer lucky) and your wife’s diary looks like this.

Day 2 (The day after)

Game Hangover – You wake up, groggy and trying to collect your bearings…and hoping the day before never happened. You get on the Internet and confirm that yes, the Skins lost! At this point it’s time to take your thoughts to the mainstream media, I mean all your friends have already heard your BS…let’s post it on the internet message boards and call sports talk radio shows! At the Cooley Zone you say something like “Chris, here’s my email address, tell Zorn to call me…his play calling sucks!” or you call Lavar and Dukes to say “the Skins will go 6-10, it’s time to start planning for 2010.”

Day 3

Rest – On day 3, you rest. You re-watch the game…but you’re not angry. You cuddle with your wife, you watch some Housewives show on A&E.

Day 4

Coming out of the fog - The Dallas fan at work greets you in the morning with a jab about the Skins, without thinking you tell him to go F himself. You start rambling on about how we were a couple plays away from beating the Giants in New York and how we’re gonna sweep the Cowgirls. You sit at your desk and you feel…peace.

Drinking the Kool-Aid – You look at the remaining schedule and all of the sudden…the Skins are going to go 15-1. You start texting, calling and emailing your friends and say things like “I think Portis is going to to rush for 150 this week” and “JC’s going to have a Pro Bowl year, just wait and see!” It’s time to go mainstream again so you head back to the Cooley’s message board “Zorn’s going to be the Coach of the Year” you call L&D “the Skins will win the Super Bowl this year with a last second option pass…Randle El to Cooley.”

Day 5

On day 5 you go back to your normal self, and I guess what I’m trying to say to everyone is…just pretend like it’s day 5. Don’t get too high when we rip off 4-5 wins in a row and don’t bash the team after this loss. The Skins played hard and it was a tough situation that they went into. I’m a diehard and I’m sure you are too, let’s support the team and move forward. I mean…I looked at the schedule, I don’t think we’re going to have to deal with another loss this season.

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