Valley Vikings Girls Lax = Fun

Last night I watched the Loudoun Valley Vikings girls team finish their season by winning their 19 straight game and taking the region championship. I went with Christy because her cousin Courtney is a senior on the team and we wanted to check out the action. I would just like to say that the girls at Valley are awesome. Even for a entry level observationist I would tell how smart they play the game. They had downright crazy passing skills and even with the tiny pockets they had little problem moving the ball with ease around the field. Those girls also had amazing stamina, I mean seriously, that is a shit ton of running and they never slow down. I also made some other simple notes concerning girls lacrosse as I got home from the game.

1. I would have been awesome at lacrosse. It is an great game and since moving back east I have had a blast watching it being played. A couple of the men's college teams are crazy good! And fast. It's definitely a different game watching the men play vs. women.

2. The rules to girls lacrosse is lame. It's bullshit that they can never touch each other, plus the game is stopped every minute because someone bumps someone else. A dangerous shot is a freaking joke, let the girls throw the ball around a little bit, it would make it a hell of a lot more fun. I'm sure if you gave them a helmet and pads excitement would ensue. Plus I want to see girls hit.

3. Girls never take it to the hole. They pass around all day and maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like if they would just give a little juke move or a spin move they would easily slip defenders. The girls have worse moves than I do on a football field and for anyone that doesn't know, that means none.

4. What the hell is everyone away from the ball doing during the face off. They are absolutely so ready to play, everyone in crazy stances and all. Just chill out, if you 40 yards away from the ball in the middle of the field I'm sure you will have time to react without your crouching dragon stance.

5. High school girls are hilarious. No less than 300 spy pictures were taken of me at the game. I guess it's better than signing autographs.

6. I hung out after the game and played my first catch with a lacrosse stick. It was pretty tough because the girls sticks have the little pockets, but after about 5 minutes I had it down. I can throw the shit out of the ball, just gotta keep tight control. Shave my legs, give me a little tuck, throw a wig on me and I would be and All-American.

7. The team that lost the game was more excited than the winners. I guess they were excited they held them to less than ten points, but that shit was crazy. I mean, get back on the bus and go home. I was talking to the girls on the winning team after the game and even they couldn't figure out what was going on. Weird?

8. I love dads in the stands. They yell the smartest things and make the game much more enjoyable. I can't wait the be the best asshole dad in the stands. I promise to never let any surrounding fans down. P.S. If anyone has set next to my dad in the stands at a skins game you would know what I'm talking about. I just want to follow in his footsteps. Well, maybe with just a little bit less groping and boob signing, and a little more "Open your eyes you cock sucking ref!" yelling.

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