I learned a lot of fun new things this last week in Hawaii. Here are some quick observations.
- Even though Jason Witten plays for the Cowboys and I still can't stand to see him catch the ball, he is pretty fun to hang out with.
- Karaoke only gets better when Dixieland Delight comes on, and I know this may sound a little weird but, but it really gets better when Whitney Houston's - I wanna dance with somebody is playing.
- Remember the time when salt got rubbed in our nose before the shot of tequila and then after, some lime got squirted in our eye. That was crazy. I mean it definitely wasn't me doing that, but I learned how it could be done.
- Don't give any football players your room number at the JW Marriott. It's really not that hard to anonymously charge to rooms. 1709 Jared Allen.
- Wes Welker is awesome.
- I can hit the absolute piss out of the new Taylormade Driver.
- Colt Brennan is the Tom Brady of Hawaii.
- Do not watch that new movie with Dustin Hoffman. The one where his daughter doesn't want him to walk her down the isle. Do not!
- Don't try to rent a scooter without a drivers licence. It wont happen because the scooter shop could get closed down. If you try to give a fake licence make sure that you do it before you tell the guy that you didn't bring your licence, it's more believable that way.
- I really wouldn't recommend the prostitutes in Waikiki. Although there are many, I wouldn't plan my trip around it. (Just a quick observation here, by no means can I justify by experience)
- Doing football things every day in Hawaii sucks. Yea, yea, that's why were there but, waking up at 7 and 8 every day for practice or pictures or meetings is stupid. Have a two-a-day on the first day, then meet the day before the game and get it over with. I would rather pay for a va-cay than work for it. (I know, I'm a baby)
- I know that Jason Mraz song is pretty popular here, but let's talk about playing the shit out of a song.
- I'm ecstatic that I don't have to play special teams in a Redskins uniform. I don't know how closely anyone watched my missed tackle debacle, but apparently I need some practice wrapping someone up. Practice I don't want.
- A bagel, some fruit and a picture of coffee costs 47 dollars when you order it to your room. Seem like kind of a lot. Best plain bagels in the world though so, I guess your gotta pay!
- Who wouldn't have a glass container constantly filled with pineapple pieces and Patron?
- Definitely watch Zach and Miri make a porno. Please respond to the double dutch rutter.
- NFL players don't really like to do interviews conducted by other NFL players. I tried and was embarrassed nearly every time. "Please Payton, just one more question." Also, I'm no George Michael.
- Winning an extra 20 thousand bucks in the game is a good plan. Even though the trip is paid for, it's not even close to free.
- Hey Jared "143, 447."
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