Tuesday, February 3, 2009

FWG: The Finer Points of Tecmo Super Bowl

As a child of the 90's my afternoons were filled with the occasional "afternoon special", running around terrorizing my neighborhood until the street lights came on (ensuing argument: "Street lights are on, but it's still light out, Mom!") and of course countless hours of Tecmo Super Bowl.

This game made me love football. I'd play for hours. Then go outside and run around pretending that I was in Tecmo Super Bowl. My sisters never wanted to play, and that was fine. I'd tackle them at unsuspecting moments, channeling my very best Lawrence Taylor. While the rules of Tecmo Super Bowl were standard football rules. There were a few "unwritten" agreements. As consistent as gravity:

The Iron-Clad rules.
1. Being Bo Jackson was cheating:

2. Christian "The Nigerian Nightmare" Okoye was simply unfair:

3. The only "even" match-up was between the Cowboys, Bills, or 49ers.

4. Playing with the Colts was admitting you were going to lose

5. Never. Ever. Under any circumstances do you punt or kick a field goal. This is Tecmo Super Bowl, not Vietnam. There are rules. You go for it on 4th down, no matter what.

To the disappointment of every kid in Upstate New York, Jim Kelly was not in the game. Instead he was listed simply as QB Bills.

The big jump, of course, from Tecmo Bowl to Tecmo Superbowl was that there were now 8 plays to choose from (instead of 4). You could customize your 8 plays, from a total "pool" of 64. Incredibly realistic, as the Bills are actually running those same 8 plays over and over (and over) again today.

Another awesome part: when the game clock became dislodged from the space-time-continuum and decided it would go as fast or as slow as it damn well pleased (depending of course on how well you could clean you cartridges: Pick up cartridge in right hand. Move to mouth. Blow as hard as you can. PRESTO! Cartridge now clean).

This also was true for "Blades of Steel", but that's a whole different post.

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