Monday, January 19, 2009

Playoff Interviews: Brett Keisel

Brett Keisel: Talk to me about what you got going on man. Are these questions you made up?

Chris Cooley: Yes. In all my spare time. I don't think you'll have too hard of a time answering them.

BK: (laughs) Outstanding.
(In the midst of some early-conversation banter that has been edited out, Keisel mentions that he had just been sitting in an ice bath to aid his sore legs.)

CC: I don't understand how you can sit in an ice bath. Don't you guys practice outside?

BK: Yeah, but we didn't today. We were inside today. My legs are just worn out I guess. Do you ice?

CC: Uh, yeah. I definitely do. It sucks. We don't have an indoor facility, so when it's cold out I really don't like to get in the ice after we're done. But I can't imagine how tired you are ...

BK: Yeah, it's not too bad, I missed six games this year so I feel pretty good. I can't believe you guys don't have an indoor facility; all the money your owner has.

CC: I know. It's unreal. Well, we practice on, I guess we practice on a flood plane. There's a creek behind our field ... the only turf field we have is an ACTUAL AstroTurf field. I mean it's not even field turf so ... we usually don't use that one either.

BK: Maybe all you guys can chip in and get yourselves an indoor facility.

CC: (laughs) "Hey Dan, why don't we all give you some money and maybe build this thing." I was gonna tell you too, it's crazy that you grew up in Greybull (Wyoming).

BK: I know, 'cause you grew up in Powell right? (54.6 miles apart)

CC: I grew up in Powell ... I have little league wrestling medals with a grey bull. It's not a circle, it's a bull. Well it's kind of funny, we both grew up in Wyoming, we both went to college in Utah, my family all thinks that we should be best friends. Do you ever hear that? I'm like, I haven't even talked to him.

BK: We are best friends Chris, we just don't know it yet bro.

CC: Yep, that's right. We'll hang out this summer, huh?

BK: That'd be fun man. We should go fishin' like you could take me on the Shoshone.

CC: (laughs) We'll go to the bar.

BK: Yeah.

CC: We'll pick fights.


CC: I'm in, I'll be there.

BK: Alright, buddy.

CC: You got the BYU connection. I figured you could probably make some green jello with carrots.

BK: (LAUGHS) Broccoli jello?

CC: That's it, man. So just kinda quick on this 'cause its getting kind of overplayed out, but University of Utah, you guys played them every year and we played them every year. Do you think they should of had a shot? Or do you think if BYU would have made it [undefeated], do you think they should have got a shot?

BK: I do think they should have a shot especially when a team goes undefeated and beats some teams, one team that was considered the top team in the country for a significant amount of time in Alabama, so I think they should get just as much shot as anyone, but all of this could have been easily been played out in a playoff in my opinion.

CC: Yeah, I think you're right. I think that's what it has to get to but it just doesn't seem like it will. Whatever.

BK: Well they should get a shot. No other team in the country, that I'm aware of, at least Division, I went undefeated, and they spanked Alabama so ...

CC: Whatever. When [the Steelers] played us at home this year my brother and I were talking and compared it to when BYU came to Logan (Utah State), there were that many fans in our stadium. It was embarrassing. Honestly, I'm sick about the terrible towels.

BK: Yeah, we have a great tradition of traveling Steeler nation fanatics. That's one special thing about playing in Pittsburgh is any time we go anywhere, somehow some way our fans seem to find tickets and seem to be competitive in filling the seats along with the home teams fans. So I love our fans. Definitely.

CC: Yeah, that's cool. You guys have crazy fans. Do you have any weird stuff happen to you? My new thing right now is every time I go to dinner people wanna shake hands with me ... while I'm sitting at dinner. The fan thing. Do you have any ...

BK: Doesn't that bother you?

CC: That's my biggest pet peeve.

BK: Especially when you're sitting down to eat you have food in front of you, that you're going to be putting in your mouth and some guy just walks out of the bathroom and wants to shake your hand.

CC: I know.

BK: I don't like that either.

CC: He's got his hand on his [private parts] probably.

BK: That's nasty. That is NASTY. No, but our fans our pretty cool. Most the time they don't mess with us too much but you know, we get things all the time where you just want to be alone and, um, someone kind of shows up and wants you to take a picture, or it's somebody's birthday or something like that. You know, try and make you feel obligated to do something.

CC: Yeah, I mean, you can't say no.

BK: Right.

CC: Alright. So I was just talking to Kevin Curtis and all of Philadelphia's team is growing beards right now. Who grows a better beard on your team, you or Ben (Roethlisberger)?
BK: Me by far. If you go back and look, I mean Ben is starting to mature and starting to grow a better beard, but when we won the super bowl he had that thing going so maybe it'll help them win. I don't know, but, uh, definitely me.

CC: That guy gets crazy concussions. Does he ever say anything wild when he gets knocked out?

BK: Yeah, it's kind of funny to mess with him a little bit. You know it wasn't so much what they were saying, but they come to the sidelines and they wanna know where they are, what they're doing and why are all these people screaming. (laughs)

BK: So I find that somewhat hilarious but you know ... we see it a lot, don't we, Chris?

CC: Yeah, every week.

BK: Every week.

CC: You gotta feel good about being the only team in the playoffs that doesn't have a bird mascot. I mean if it came down to the mascots you'd obviously win.

BK: Yeah, I think that interesting. Um, you know, we're playing a bird, um, if we win we're playing another bird so ... I don't know where the birds came from. Or how all the sudden they got to be mascots. I do like the Eagles 'cause I'm an American, but a Raven or a Cardinal I never knew those were tough birds.

CC: It really doesn't seem that tough.

BK: No it doesn't.

CC: Let me ask you this. Obviously everyone's impression of you is going to be, you know, a conservative, blue collar white dude. But do you have any sack dance, anything cool you're going to do? I'm assuming you're going to score a touchdown defensively. Do you guys have anything planned out?

BK: We don't have anything choreographed as of yet. We still have two days to prepare, two days to work on something, but uh, last week it was fun when I put Rivers down I had to go rowing down the river. I just thought that was a fun dance to do, but a lot of people said it was horrible and I looked really white doing it.

CC: Mmmm, I think anything you do is good. I mean if your incorporating the quarterback you could definitely, uh, simulate a pair of tweezers this week.

BK: Ya, ya, (laughs) that's nice man. Real nice.

CC: Yeah, thoughtful. Do you think this could be a game where the offense doesn't score a point?

BK: I wouldn't think so. Just because I have a lot of faith in our offense, um, I hope their offense doesn't score a point. That would be outstanding, but, uh, no I don't think so. Not with the athletes that the NFL has today. You know guys that ... playing on offense would blow my mind if you had a 0-0 game going into overtime, but stranger things have happened.

CC: Yeah, I'm guessing at least defensive touchdowns will be scored.

BK: Yeah, I think so too. I think so too.

CC: Alright dude, last question. A kind of fun thing on our bus and in our locker room are the "what if" questions or "what would you do?" questions. I know you can take this to extremely vulgar levels, cause we definitely did ...
CC: This year I did the website and it was the first year that I have really done it, and I was learning and I think everyone kind of already knows this, but I posted naked pictures on accident ...

BK: NICE man.

CC: ... on the internet.

BK: Naked pictures of you?

CC: Yeah, well, there was no face involve but there was [JUNK] so that was a real treat.


CC: Would you trade full frontal nudity for another Super Bowl ring?

BK: Yes.
CC: No questions asked?

BK: No questions.

CC: Ha. I love it. I love it. A real team player.

BK: That's right. That's right. I really want another ring. I don't wanna have four fingers left, I want to fill up the whole hand.

CC: Sounds good.

BK: So maybe that will cost me five frontal nudities. I don't know.

CC: (laughs) You'll definitely have to meet with a psychologist. I can tell you that from experience.

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