Monday, January 26, 2009

E-City’s...More Like E-Shitty’s.

Firstly, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Preston, however you may call me “P-Dizzle” or “Dizzle”, both nicknames were given to me by Yodes and Cooley. Chris and I are great friends, and this being my first post I wanted to just briefly give you the readers a bit of background on my relationship with number 47. We began hanging out about a year ago. Around that same time I met Yodes, who is one of my favorite people on this earth. The three of us began dicking around, golfing, playing cards, and taking the wives out. More recently it has been trips to A.C. and this Friday on a plane headed to Vegas with the wives! Chris and “I believe in a lot of the same things.” We both genuinely love life and find the humor in just about everything, from the absurd; like the hideously ugly girl at Clyde’s’ proclaiming her love for Jason Witten…. (seriously; followed by a bitch ass to Chris…Priceless! By the way she was maybe the ugliest thing I have ever seen….threw up in my mouth a little bit.) or the random stalker on the way home from the Caps game, as long as we come out unscathed then we can usually laugh about it later. So now that the introductions are complete, (nice to meet you as well) I think you will all enjoy the story below describing a typical night out with a twist of the random thrown in for laughs. Enjoy.

Cools, Yodes, the wives and me sat down to enjoy a lovely diner at Bonaroti’s in Vienna Friday night. Chris and I had planned Friday’s events, from meetings in the morning, to dinner with Sergio, and on to a bar for drinks and laughs earlier in the week. So as I woke up on Friday I was excited that Saturday I would have one hell of a hangover. I get to Chris’s house by 11:30 we hang out play a little Madden 2009, (which has now turned into an epic battle) and have our scheduled meeting. Fast forward to my house. It is important to note that we never drink and drive, so Chris is on the phone trying to find us a car, I am in the shower and the wives, are talking about what we are going to do in Vegas next weekend.

“You ready” I ask everyone.
“Dizzle we are just going to get a cab from E-City’s home, I got you guys one to should be like $20 from Tyson’s to Fairfax, cool?” Chris says.
“Yeah whatever, I am just excited to get a little drunk, and mess with Sue (Yoder).
"We pack up jump in my car and head over to Bonaroti’s. The food, the wine and the company were amazing as always. We always have fun watching Sergio yell at this one waiter, in Spanish, or Italian, and sometimes a hybrid of the two languages melded together. We pay the check and get ready for a fun filed night at a favorite dive bar E-City’s.

At this point I need to take you all back in time to September of 2008. A very similar day to the one described above, a night in which the six of us again found ourselves at E-City’s drinking, dancing and having a great time. At some point, no one to this day knows how, or why or what happened but a waitress I believe her name was Meghan, singles me out and starts swearing and is very upset that we are there. She tells me that we are not a big deal and that we should leave! Subsequently, after many failed attempts to communicate with her in an effort to discover why she has such feelings of animosity towards us, she lashes out and calls my wife the “C” word. OH NO YOU DIDN’T. Now Sue is in on the action I am totally confused, no one has any idea why this Psycho waitress just snapped and my wife is screaming at this crazy lady! Okay you guys got the picture.

Back to January 23,2009, we arrive at E-City’s. Walk through the front door, pay the weird looking lunch-lady at the front door, and I am stopped dead in my tracks.
“What’s your name?” the overweight poorly dressed, sweaty, manager asks.
Let me describe to you how poorly dressed this guy was. He was 5'8”tall had a red dress shirt on, weighed a lot, and had a bright white tie on. He looked like a big fat hairy, sweaty, candy cane!
“What?” I ask.
At this point Chris is standing next to me finishing his diet Red Bulls and he looks at the guy and says:
Paul Scholes
“No, your Chris’s business manager.” The overweight, five dollar an hour bouncer, buffoon, dressed like a candy cane proclaims.
“Chris we love you but your friend is not allowed in.”
“What!” Chris says.
“Yeah this guy was taking his close off and gave my staff a hard time last time he was here.” The cognitively limited, a chimpanzee can do your job, clown, dressed like a candy cane states.
“You can’t be serious, your fucking waitress called my wife a C and told us she wished we would all leave last time we were in here. “ I say.
“No she didn’t” the retarded, gangster- wanna-be, jerk off, dressed like candy cane reports.
“We’re leaving” Chris says.
At this point I am pissed. I am not the kind of guy that gets thrown out of anywhere, yet a lone a shitty bar, where old people go to meet other old people and attempt to dance to music they hear on their kids, Ipods.. I mean seriously, this place is pathetic and that is why we would go, it was great for a laugh.
“Your Fing retarded, nice tie fag” I yell as we leave.
“Dizzle come on lets go, F-it, he’s not worth it” Yoder says calmly as he is literally carrying me out the door.
“Your right Yodes.”
At this point we are back in the car and my wife, who had not been drinking, is driving us all and I am now being assaulted by Cooley, yelling that I got thrown out of E-City’s! The worst bar in the world! We laugh about it. Chalk it up as an experience and head over to Ned Devines in Herdon. To which I would like to thank the staff for a great night!

In conclusion if you are a fan of Cooley than you cannot be a fan of E-Citys!

Facebook Comments