Poker Night

The personal anticipation of Saturday’s poker night had been building for months. I bought a new house and moved in November. When we decided what rooms would be what and started buying furniture it was made mandatory that a "Man Room" was created. Cigars, whiskey, and poker are prerequisites to entering the room. At least that was my great plan the day I moved in. Well if anyone is ordering furniture please know this. It will take a long damn time for it to get to your house. If you order an entire houseful of furniture it is going to take even longer. If the poker table is supposed to be there in a month just count on 8 to 10 weeks. Anyways, here we are in May and I finally get to host my first poker night. I was excited as hell.

Although I had been counting down the days until the big game I am not the greatest planner. While I knew there was going to be a poker night, no one else did. So there was some slight concerned when I began asking people on Friday afternoon what their plans were for the Saturday. Actually half my invites were made Saturday morning. Thankfully I have great friends and family and we had a full turnout. Actually more players than I expected showed up and we had to create an alternate poker room for the first half of the tournament.

I know the basics of poker; actually think I'm pretty good. Who doesn't? Really, I feel like I can play any card game and I'm upset if I don't win. The problem with coming up with all the rules for my own tournament was that I was completely over my head. Enter Ryan Boschetti. As far as I'm concerned he is the best gambler I know. I’ve never seen anyone win as at a casino as consistently as he does. He could realistically make his living gambling. We spent a weekend in Atlantic City last year and I saw Boss hit six different slot machines, each for thousands of dollars including a slot payout of $13,000 dollars on a penny machine. Not to mention wins at every single table game in the casino. Needless to say he would be my “rules guy” for the tournament.

Twelve players began the tournament on two tables. Unfortunately after drawing names I was deprived of starting in my own poker room and was forced to start at the dining table. Although it was the alternate room, whiskey and cigars were not only permitted, but enforced. Each player started with 2000 in poker chips (imaginary money) for no-limit Hold'em.

My mentality going into the first table was to just make it back into my beautiful new “man room”. I played conservatively knowing at least one or two people would bet themselves out early in the game. It only took 30 minutes until my table had broken down to four players.

I was playing like a champ, strangely staring off with a serene expressing trying to mask all the terrible hands I was getting. Early on it was a lot of two's and sevens, but I was hanging right in the chip count. My big hand finally hit; King/Queen of spades and I doubled the bet. I casually watched another King and two spades come out on the flop. Everyone went out but Tim, and me. Tim being the man I had already considered next to leave our table. As the cards played out, I not only knew Tim didn't have the hand I did, but felt he was bluffing. I offered him an early out telling him not to lie about his two shit cards (probably 9/3 off-suit). "Bluffing isn't lying," Tim chuckled. "I would never lie to you." So I rewarded his bluff with a sideways smile and confidently pushed all my chips into the heart of the table.

Tim's irresponsible play awarded me a spot in the coveted man room. After a brief whisky break, we sat down, raised the blinds, and resumed play. The hands started out very serious and I continued to draw garbage hands. I removed myself from the intensity of the game and sucked down a couple more drinks. Since I couldn't get a hand to stay in the game I had to fill my time some other way. At this point killing a drink wasn't uncommon for anyone left at the table. You would think that anyone who loved liqueur would use it sparingly in times like these. Inebriation takes the best out of any poker player.

My focus on the game began to slip. We now had the stereo out and singing had become a more popular event than poker. There’s no way to get a good read on someone's hand when the entire room is screaming the chorus of "Livin on a Prayer." It was amazing that the final table had wound down to four players and there was more concern for "Shot Through the Heart" than winning the cash.

It was 10 o’clock and I figured it was time to make my move or bounce. I drew my first two cards, a Jack/9. By this point in the night that seamed like the perfect go all-in before seeing anything else hand. I chose to belittle my concern when I found out the rest of the table wasn't scared of a conflict. Shoulda known better, but I was easily bounced from the game when Boschetti posted 3 tens.

At the end of the day 4th place was fine by me. I managed to hang out and watch the rest of the game, which lasted a whole ten minutes. Apparently everyone was ready to win or go home, but all in all the night was a blast.